Red White and Black

Chapter Eighteen

Sadie

A bittersweet smile formed on Sadie's face as she watched Markus and Abbie strolling off hand in hand, a relationship she feared was doomed to fail. She liked Abbie well enough, but her father was a different story. Sadie worried he would never tolerate his daughter to continue seeing Markus and would make everyone miserable until Abbie returned home to Ohio. It pained her to see two innocent kids forced to deal with the tired old prejudices of another generation. They deserved better; they deserved a society free of the senseless and pointless divisiveness that had been plaguing it for centuries. Sweet Lord, ain't there been enough blood spilled already to pay for a better way? Ain't enough lives been lost that people oughta see the light? She knew in her heart, or at least feared, the altar of equality would require more blood and more lives to be shed before things improved. While it was true Dr. King was making a difference and new laws were being passed, the reality of the streets still maintained its tenacious grip on the hatreds and bigotry of the past.

Turning her back on the window, she went to her bedroom and opened her closet to examine its contents. She owned three dresses, none of them newer than three years old and the best of the lot already fraying at the sleeves. Maybe I can hem those a little bit. 'Course, a person can only do that so many times before you got no sleeves left. She bit her lip for a moment, deciding whether to tackle that chore now or merely trim the loose threads for the time being. She reached for the scissors, her mind resolved to trim now and hem it before Sunday. It wouldn't do to go worship in a shabby dress.

She slipped into the dress, collected the blueberry pie baked earlier in the day and headed out the door to the car. Sweat instantly began to form on her brow but it had been so hot for so long she scarcely noticed. She slid into the driver's seat only to have the dark vinyl sear the back of her legs and the steering wheel duplicate the favor on her hands. Jesus, please let this old car start just one more time, if you will. She said her prayer out of habit while secretly railing at the never ending fatigue and disgust that seemed inescapable. The engine turned over--not noticing her near blasphemy--spewing its load of noxious fumes out the tailpipe as it coughed to life .

Normally the drive to church filled her with anticipation, so anxious was she to visit with friends and hear Brother Gibbs preaching hellfire and damnation. Normally, a trip to church preceded a time of renewal and joy, thereby making the trip itself worthwhile. Today was a different story. She felt defeated and all dried up, like a bar of soap used until nothing but a tiny chip remained, unable to do much good. She needed a change, a vacation maybe. There had to be a way to get out of Gary, even for just a while. She recalled the television commercials showing smiling, happy people enjoying a vacation somewhere where the sun was shining and the water refreshing, and the food abundant. Wiping a bead of sweat from her eyes, it occurred to her she at least had the shining sun, although hers seemed more like a heat lamp. The notion of relaxing on a beach with someone serving her every need made her smile; no one had ever waited on her before and the abandoned and shuttered buildings surrounding her squelched the vision of pristine beaches and drinks with tiny umbrellas.

This was her life. This was her reality.

Pulling into the parking lot, she was pleased to see Brother Gibb's car. It meant he was in his office, studying for Sunday's sermon. She hated to be a bother and to interrupt his studies, but the urge to talk to someone was overwhelming. Besides, his office was in the basement and significantly cooler than anywhere else.

"Brother Gibbs? You down there?" she called out, not wanting to intrude.

"Here. I'm here," came an answer. "Come on in."