26th Day

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26th Day

Cloud POV

Kusang tumulo ang mga luha ko. Hindi ko napigilang umiyak sa harap ng doctor ni May. Nakita ko ang lungkot sa mga mata niya.

"My God!" Yun na lang ang nasabi ko. Parang pinipiga ang puso ko sa sinabi niya. She have cancer at hindi niya sinasabi. Kaya ba nung nag outing ang company, she ask me to pull off at nagsusuka siya. Kaya ba ang payat niya at mukhang palaging matamlay?

Gusto ko ng umalis kaagad sa clinic ng doctor at puntahan siya to shake her at pagalitan siya at ibuhos lahat ng hinanakit na nararamdaman ko dahil sa nalaman ko ngayon. But I need to know everything. Kailangan kong malaman dahil hindi ako makakapayag na hindi labanan ang sakit niya. Ngayon lang kami nagkaayos at hindi ko hahayaang mawala siya sa akin. Not again. No! Never.

Kailangan namin siya ni Sky.

"She had been my patient four years ago. Kasama niya ang parents she's under medication for her brain tumor hoping na maaalis at matutunaw ito because its not malignant. She is taking it oral medicine to get rid of the tumor and we have high hopes na maaalis yun. " Sabi ng doctor nung tinanong ko kung kelan pa ni May nalaman ang sakit niya.

"She's doing quite well at natunaw na ang tumor. Kailangan na lang niya ng maintenance at follow up when we found out that she's pregnant. She could no longer take the necessary drugs to totally erase any traces of the tumor and to prevent it recurrence. Or we could have the fetus aborted for her to continue her medication." Nanggilalas ako sa sinabi ng doctor. But then kung andun ako sa sitwasyon na yun, maybe I would also choose abortion.

"She adamantly refused abortion. I remember her exact words when her parents persuade her to have the baby aborted. She is hysterical, 'Bubuhayin ko ang anak ko even if it will cause me my life'. That's her exact words and I never seen such a brave girl." Habang humahaba ang kwento niyo lalong sumisikip ang dibdib ko but then I have to endure it. Dahil kulang na kulang ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon kumpara sa sakit na naramdaman niya noon. At ngayon lang lalong tumino sa isip ko ang sinabi niya na wala ako nung mga panahon na kailangan niya ako. Now I realized how much she needed me and I drove her away.

Nung araw na nalaman niyang buntis siya, it was the day, that she give up her life for Sky. For my child at wala akong ginawa. Gusto kong iuntog ang sarili ko sa pader.

"When she came back after 3 years, doon ko nalaman that her parents died that day. She stopped her medication and she never came back.And when she came back we found out na may tumubong tumor ulit sa utak niya. This time it was malignat tumor grade 4. Glioblastoma Multiforme. Hindi na kaya ng operasyon. And she refused the radiation theraphy because it was expensive. She is not taking any medication now. Just painkillers for her to endure the pain. But there will come a time, that even painkillers won't have an effect. And that happened a day ago. She suddenly blacked out. Mabuti na lang at nasa vicinity pa siya ng hospital." I clenched my hand tightly.

Kaya pala hindi siya nakauwi. At ang sabi niya nagbakasyon siya. Paano na lang kung ...ahhh I don't want to think about that possibility.

She endured everything on her own. Kahit siguro sina Yaya Loida, hindi alam ang kondisyon niya.

"Doc...ano pa ang ibang paraan para gumaling siya?" I said desperately. Dahil hindi ako basta basta susuko. Gagawin ko ang lahat para gumaling lang siya.

"I'm sorry Mr. Tan." At ayaw kong marinig ang sagot na yun. God! Ayaw kong marinig na wala na siyang pag asa. Kung kailangang ibigay ko ang buhay ko para gumaling lang siya ibibigay ko pero hindi ko matanggap na wala na akong magagawa para sa kanya.

"She can't die Doc. Our child needs her. I need her. Nagsisimula pa lang kami...she just can't..." I choked my words. Gusto kong magwala. Gusto kong sumigaw.

"The only thing that we can do is to support her and to make her feel how much we love and care for her. At least for the remaining days of her life. But as far as science is concerned we can't do anything about her condition. Not anymore.

"How many years doc?" Because I will make sure that every day of the remaining years of her life she wioll feel nothing but happiness.

Nakita ko ang malungkot na mukha ng doctor.

"Her first check up a few months back. I give her 17 weeks." 17 weeks? 17 freaking weeks? A few months back?

"We could prolong it for 30 weeks if she would undergo radiation theraphy but as I said she refused it and I couldn't do anything about it. That's her decision. We couldn't force it on her." Malungkot pa ding sabi ng doctor.

"Ilang weeks na lang ang natitira doc?" Bumuntunghinga ang doctor.

"Not weeks Mr. tan. Days. To be specific, 3 days." And that very moment, my world crumbled and right in front of her doctor I sobbed. 

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