All the Waters of the Earth

Chapter 18: Can We Put it in Two Player?

"Lucy?"

"Yeah mom?"

"What happened today in court?"

It was later. Jake had gone back to work, I went over to my house, gave Rob a hug, told Sara everything, and wrote for a little bit after Sara left for work. Then I started making dinner, and my mom called. Grateful to have my mother in my life, I told her almost everything, meaning I didn't tell her about the sex. I did tell her that we had won in court, that it was just the first round, that Carlos wasn't watching Rob on weekends, and that I might have a new boyfriend.

"Oh, Mister Jake. And he liked the tamales, no?"

My mom could be very cute. But the fact that she was completely supportive of me and my decisions — whether they were good ones or not — was something I tried not to take for granted. She was wise. She didn't meddle too much and she did not tell me what to do. She let me make my mistakes, and then held my hand as I recovered from them. I was one of the lucky ones; by the accident of birth, I had ended up with great parents. I was grateful for the fact that my mom and dad were in my life and were loving, reasonably well-adjusted people. A lot of people did not have that.

Like Jake.

He seemed so sad to me, no family around to speak of, no home, losing himself in the law, when he really had the soul of an artist. He was beautiful to me, in a wistful, melancholy way, and not just because of his looks. It was the way he acted, thinking of me over himself. Mistakes? Sure, he made plenty, and I am sure he would make more. But I couldn't wait until he came home.

Came home.

This wasn't his home but it might as well be. He said he didn't have one. Sometimes home is with a person, not a place. I loved my duplex and was proud of the fact that I bought it with money I earned from my writing, but at the end of the day, home for me was with Roberto.

But being in Jake's arms also felt like a type of home. I felt cared for, comforted, and secure. Sometimes, when I wasn't in his arms and he was being Mr. Distracted Businessman, I felt like shit, but when he touched me, that never happened. His touch was strangely familiar: I felt complete ease, and really excited, at the same time.

I had never had an adult man to cook for, besides my dad. I had dated guys, but I never brought them home to be around my son. I had always wanted to make sure that they were going to be the type to stick around, or the type I would want sticking around, before I introduced them to Roberto. And that had never happened before.

With Jake living next door, he bypassed these guidelines. I hoped that Rob would think of him as a babysitter and a neighbor; it seemed like he did. I had to be careful, though. I didn't want Rob to get too attached to him and then have things not work out with Jake. It was hard enough to break up with a guy; I did not want to get Rob's emotions involved in addition. I suppose with Rob knowing that Jake was only living next to us during the time that his house was being remodeled, he would understand that having Jake as our neighbor was just temporary.

As I talked with my mom, I assembled the chili relleno casserole that I had told Jake about: green chilis, lots of cheese and eggs, and a whole lot of yum. It was Rob's favorite meal and I hoped that Jake would like it. I made a salad, too, and cut up some vegetables to steam, to counteract all of the richness of the dish.

At 6:25, there was a knock on my door. Jake, not a process server.

I was secretly thrilled that he was early. A nagging thought had been that he would call and not show up, or be stuck at work, like the workaholic he was. But no, he was there.

And even though I had seen him at lunchtime, he was still a treat to see. His suit was a little bit more rumpled than usual, but he still smelled great, and looked even better.

But Rob was right there as I answered the door, so I did not launch myself at this handsome man.

"Hey, come on in," is what I said instead, being cool in front of my kid.

Jake smiled warmly, but he looked tired. "It smells so good in here," he said. I was amused. It was like it was the 1950s: the way to a man's heart... But I didn't care. I wanted to take care of him. He didn't have anyone looking out for him.

He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I'm assuming no PDA in front of your son, right?"

"I'd appreciate that," I whispered back.

"Well, consider the thought," he continued quietly. "I want to kiss your adorable nose."

For some reason this made me blush. He touched my cheek and then called, in a louder voice, "Hey Rob, can we put it in two player?" Then he took off his jacket and walked over to Rob, who was sitting on the floor. Jake joined him on the floor, wearing his tie and suit pants, and began to play Minecraft with my twelve year old son.

And just like that Jake had my heart.

Seriously.

That did it. Hanging out with my son, doing something simple and everyday. I was already falling for my handsome neighbor, I could admit it, and I was falling fast. I didn't know what was going to happen with him, and I didn't know what kind of secrets he was holding inside him, but I was at the point where not going further with him would break my heart. I was taken by this man, who paid attention to my son, and paid attention to me, even when he worked like working was a compulsion for him.

I was going to find out why and see if I could fix it.

Now I knew this was dangerous territory. I know that you shouldn't try to fix another person, especially a man. People only changed when they were ready to change; you couldn't force it. But I was still guided by that saying that I had heard before: the busiest man in the world will make time for you if he is in love with you. I didn't think that Jake was in love with me, but I knew that he was interested. Those drawings showed it. And I knew that he was trying to make time for me. So I was willing to risk it, willing to try a relationship with him. Yes I knew I could get hurt. But I couldn't not do it at this point. And I was also willing to see if I could show him that he could work less and still thrive.

Maybe I could convince him to show his work in public.

I didn't want to think about what would happen if this went bad. I guess he would move away and I wouldn't have to see him again. But it felt too good being with him to not risk my heart. So I decided to try it.

In a little bit, I gathered us all at the table, and we lit candles. The house was decorated for Christmas, plus the Minecraft things that Rob and Jake had made the other day, so I put a few of them on the table. It was funny but it worked for us. And it felt right for Jake to be there with us, chatting, telling us about his day, asking us about ours, and talking about what he intended to do in Minecraft with Rob, as we ate.

And, to be even more perfect, Jake rolled up his sleeves after dinner, tucked his tie into his shirt front, and helped with the dishes.

I wasn't sure where I had found this guy.

Still, I knew, he had some demons that we needed to address.

But for now, it was enough just to do these simple, ordinary household things with him.

And since he didn't really have a home, I wondered if they were simple, or ordinary to him?