Albatross

Chapter 04: Cry For The Moon

Elliot could hear the wind howling outside his car. He did his best to ignore it as he sat inside the vehicle, gathering the strength to get out and go into his workplace.

It had been nearly a quarter of an hour since he'd parked and he still couldn't manage to step outside. There were too many thoughts swimming about in his head, weighing him down. None of them were particularly good.

The steering wheel was warm beneath his fingers even as the inside of the car cooled while it sat there with the engine off. If Elliot listened carefully, he could almost hear the faint ticking of his watch as the seconds passed. He would be late if he sat there for much longer. Still, he made no move to exit the car.

A series of sudden knocks, sharp and quick on his window, startled him. Wide-eyed, and with his heart beating a bit quicker, he looked over and into a pair of brown eyes that watched him, silently questioning what he was doing. Hesitantly, Elliot rolled down his car window to speak to Nathan.

"Morning, Elliot," the man greeted. His cheerful tone was tinged with confusion. "Are you alright?"

Truly, Elliot didn't know. He didn't know why he had to sit there and muster up the will to go on with his day. Most of all, he didn't know why looking at Nathan only made him more upset.

"I'm fine," he said, already rolling his window back up. Nathan hurried back as the car door opened and Elliot stepped out. He hurried to the entrance of the building where he worked, not paying attention to Nathan. The other man followed at a brisk pace to keep up with Elliot.

"You sure?" Nathan insisted, and Elliot had to bite back a sharp retort. He knew Nathan was just trying to be nice and there was nothing wrong with that. There was nothing wrong with Nathan.

"Yeah," Elliot said as he pulled open the door to the medical center with more force than was probably needed. He didn't look back as he climbed the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator. Nathan stayed behind, probably looking at him with an offended look. Elliot didn't turn back to check.

He didn't see much of Nathan after that. To some extent, he was aware that he was avoiding the man, even if he wasn't sure why. As Elliot sat alone in a nearby coffee shop, having been able to slip away for his lunch break, he thought about Nathan. He thought about why it bothered him so much to have the friendly man around.

Elliot walked back to work without any of the answers he wished he had.

That night, he didn't dream of Allan. In fact, Elliot didn't dream of anything. He fell asleep suddenly and woke up with an odd feeling—like nothingness. There was nothing but a dark expanse of time that was usually occupied by Allan's heartbreakingly sad smiles. Elliot felt more alone than he had in a while.

The strong winds from the previous day had died down, leaving only a crisp feeling that morning. Elliot pulled his coat closer to himself as he stepped out of his car and made his way to his workplace. He noted, thankfully, that Nathan was nowhere to be seen, as he sat behind his desk and got ready for the day ahead.

"Morning, Elliot."

At the greeting, Elliot turned and mustered up a smile for the older woman standing before him. She looked at him with kind, dark brown eyes and a smile on her rounded face. Her name was Evelyn, and she was the manager of the office. She'd worked there for years and knew just about everything that went on with both the patients and the staff. Evelyn also happened to be one of the few people he made an active effort to be nice to.

Maybe it was because she had been there for so long and knew everyone so well. Maybe it was that she had dealt with people like Elliot before. Whatever the case may be, Evelyn had never looked at Elliot with pity in her eyes. She'd offered her condolences—and he could tell that she was being sincere—and then moved on. Not for the first time Elliot wondered if Evelyn had experienced a great loss herself.