~Scandal~11

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Cookie: Ch 11!! wooot! Thanks for the support guys/gals! You're awesome commenters (is that a word? O.O) and voters! XD

So, I was thinking that the actor who will play Paul should be James Franco *points* see him? that guy right over there XD ----->

Youtube songlink is "Hold it Against Me" by Britney Spears. Why that song? I don't know. Cookie had nothing else better to do XD

P.s: I was too lazy to edit again. I'll do it like...later. Maybe as I re-read along. hehe

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~Evan's POV~

I fled the cabin, taking the patio steps two at a time.

      I cursed myself. What the hell did I think I was doing back there? How could I have lost control and let it go that far? And right in front of everyone. Derek will never forgive me. He knows...he's got to be aware of my feelings for him now. And he'll be disgusted...and hate me for it.

      I strode towards the lake, only flickering lamp posts and the glow of the full moon to light my path as I stopped before the bank of the lake. I stared out into the water, the feeling of dread settling in my chest to the pits of my stomach. The expression on Derek's face when he realized what he...what we had done burned in my mind. A memory that will forever be engraved in my mind as bitter sweet.

      I closed my eyes, heart still hammering against my chest. My hands still tingled from the memory of touching him, how his skin felt against mine...how I craved for the closeness that I thought would never come.

      I opened my eyes and stared at my hand, clenching it into a tight fist. Yeah...I had craved for it and almost had it...but at what cost? By now Derek would have calmed down to start hating me. His face would be etched with disgust and my fear of seeing hatred in his eyes would come true.

      My fist began to tremble, body shaking not from the chill of the night but at the very thought of Derek hating. To be despised by the one that you loved...what greater tragedy was that?

      "Evan!"

      I stiffened. I knew that he would follow me eventually. Still, I couldn't turn around to face him. I didn't want to see for myself the hatred and pure disgust on his face. Can a heart cry? If it can...can he hear it?

     "Evan."

      I stared at lake, watching the reflection of the moon play across the light ripples of water. I heard his footsteps stop behind me and still I didn't turn. I waited for him to yell at me, curse me, tear me to pieces. And I'd take it. All of it. Let the blame fall to me.

      "Evan...I'm sorry, man."

      I blinked. What? What did he say?

      "I...I shouldn't have done that."

      Slowly, I turned to look at him. "What?"

      He gave me a sheepish smile, scratching his head. "I don't know what the hell came over me. Must have been those damn homo comics. They're messing with my head."

      I gapped at him. No he couldn't possibly still not know...

     He must have misunderstood the look on my face because he made a face and sighed. "Listen, you can punch me if you want. Go ahead, do it."

     He thought that I was angry? That the kiss upset me? It had...but not the way he thought. Here I was, thinking that he'd hate me because he'd finally realized my feelings for him and be disgusted but...I had been wrong. In my blind panic I had forgotten that Derek had never been very perceptive.

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