A Gentleman's Guide to Hooking Up

r u l e # 4

Rule #4 Be honest right from the start

Remember how as a kid, your parents told you that if you were good, you'd get a Popsicle at the end of the trip to the supermarket? Turned out you weren't that good, you bickered with your sister and chased around the aisles, and your parents decided that you shouldn't get a reward.

That made you seriously pissed. Yes, they never promised, they said if you were good, but the problem is they already had the image of a dripping, rainbow-colored Popsicle imprinted in your brain.

That's the number one thing to be avoided in a strictly physical relationship--vague promises. There's no "let's just see how it goes". There's no "it's complicated". There's no grey area, mixed signals, false advertising, and never guess and assume.

Put all the romantic thoughts in a box, close it, tie a ribbon around it if you must, and then burn it.

......

Jake glanced up at the cloudless sky. It was a beautiful weekend, and he was at a park shooting hoops with his buddies Dylan and Sean. They were all varsity basketball players in their senior year, and even though the season was over, it seemed they played more frequently than ever.

It wasn't because he liked basketball that much. It was mainly due to that one, Sean was brutally dumped and Jake wanted to keep him company and two, he had nothing better to do anyway. Ever since he screwed Jessica--or rather, Jessica screwed him--he hadn't had the chance to meet her despite how he desperately wanted to.

He had tried arranging another rendezvous. Jessica had said she was busy, in that infuriating "sorry, bro" tone, without offering any other explanation or the option of rescheduling.

Beside him, Dylan pulled out his phone from his Adidas duffel bag. He swiped a finger through the screen and cussed. "Eight missed calls? I played for half an hour and there's eight missed calls?"

"It'd save you a lot of trouble if you just told her what your plans were." Sean unscrewed his water bottle and took a gulp. "She doesn't know where you are so she worries."

"I don't need permission on what I do," Dylan said, "and she's not worried. She's just calling to check up on me because she doesn't trust me. I haven't cheated in eight months."

"You deserve a badge," Sean said dryly.

Dylan jabbed at his phone multiple times as if it would speed up the dialing.

This reminded Jake of why he never wanted a relationship. Too much hassle comes with it whether you're in or out, like a storm; it makes you moody, scared, and blinds you during the course, and leaves behind all kinds of wreckage once it's over.

Dylan was always complaining, and Sean was now in constant sorrow suffering from the aftermath. Jake was, however, happy as a seal sunbathing on the shore, and he searched the park to see if there was any girl worth ogling at.

Today there were no girls. There was only a preteen boy practicing by himself, and doing a lousy job at it, too. He took a shot and missed by about a mile. The ball rolled over towards Jake, like it pleaded to be in better hands.

Jake picked it up. "Here you go, buddy. Just a friendly reminder. You might want to keep your elbow in when you shoot."

The young boy failed to catch the ball. He mumbled a quick thank you as he scrambled after it. He straightened himself and turned back, a frown etched between the eyebrows, almost like an apology. "What do you mean?"

"You shoot with your elbows sticking out and that affects your accuracy. Your shots always go to the left."

The boy seemed puzzled. Jake walked on court and stopped at the three-point line.