One Direction Imagines

Liam

"We'll Have Forever" - Dirty Liam Payne Imagine

It had been a while since I had seen him last. That's just how he worked. Sneaking in and out of my life. I had grown used to the feeling, not that this meant it hurt any less. No, of course it didn't hurt any less, but it was a pain I'd learn to deal with.

Liam was always on the road. He didn't have time for relationships, not really. But whenever he was here we would make up for lost time, and I'd pretend I was happy with the time we did have. He'd pretend he wasn't leaving and I'd pretend I wasn't going to be heart broken when he did leave. It was a lot of pretending on both of our parts, but it was just something we had to do. We'd laugh and talk and make love and pretend we'd have forever.

I had tried to fall out of love with him times before. I would date other guys and try to move on but there was no moving on, no matter how much it hurt. And every time he returned there was the nagging in the back of my head that everything he said and did was impermanent and every time I would ignore it. Because that's just how we worked. It was just something we had to do.

But when he'd returned this time, there was something very different between us. It has been four years. We were both older now and were beginning to ask questions like what we were going to do with our lives and who we wanted to be with forever. Forever. And forever isn't something you can just put on hold until someone returns.

We sit next to each other at the dining room table of my condo and I can't even bring myself to look at him for too long.

"Y/N, you've hardly said anything to me since I've gotten here. Is everything okay?" Liam asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just not feeling too good. I'm sorry," I tell him. It's a lie. I feel fine, I suppose.

"Then we won't go out. We'll eat here. I'll make you dinner," Liam begins. He stands up and walks behind my chair. He places his hands on my shoulders and massages them softly. He kisses my cheek and whispers in my ear. "And then we'll have dessert."

I don't respond to his actions. My mind does. It tells me that I want this. But my heart aches.

I try so hard to ignore it as he moves his lips down my jawline, giving me the soft kisses I've been missing for more than four months. And it hurts to think even after all of this, he'll be gone again. And it'll only hurt more and more as I fall deeper and deeper.

I try not to but I feel a tear slip down my cheek. I put my mouth over my hand to keep my cry inaudible. I wipe my tears and try to keep Liam from hearing me.

Liam whips the chair around so that I'm facing him.

"Y/N! Are you crying? What's wrong?" He asks worried.

"Nothing," I say quietly.

"Y/N, don't lie to me. What's wrong? Please, baby. Tell me."

"I just. I really don't want to talk about it. I don't want to ruin whatever time we have together but I just..." I stumble with my words but at least manage to stop my tears.

He looks me in my eyes with intense worry. This isn't what I wanted. I just couldn't stop thinking about how much I'm going to miss him soon.

"Baby, I can't stand to know there's something wrong with you but don't know what it is. I lo-"

"Don't say that! Don't say stuff like that!" I stop Liam before he finishes that sentence and stand to my feet. I face him and look into his eyes and see the genuine shock.

"Why wouldn't you want me to tell you that I -"

"Because all you're going to do is leave. You'll be here for a few weeks. A month in a half. Two tops. Then you're gone and I have to spend the next four to five months trying to forget, just for you to come back and force me to remember," I tell him. I wrap my arms around myself and try to stop my shaking.