Chapter 5: Planning

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Author's Note: This one, is one of my personal favorites. Lots of surprises in it! Gotta love Renee and the way her random mind works! Wondering what happened with Jason and Bella? There's an answer for that too! *winks* Leave some love and your thoughts!

Lots of love,

Nessie

Chapter 5: Planning

December...

Jason was all the time trying to find a chance to be with me. Every time I turned around, he was there, smiling and trying to make me smile. I was trying to smile more for Renee, but at night, I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want her to lose sleep over me, and after a while, I told her just that. It didn’t get much better, but I had some friends… Actually they were Jason’s friends, but since he was trying to spend as much time as he could with me, they came too. Phil was still talking to me, trying to make me tell him how I was feeling, and soon I found out why.

A Saturday I was cleaning Renee and Phil’s room, and I saw the book that Phil had forgotten on his end table. Teenage Depression and how to handle it. I wonder if Renee even knew about the book. There was a scrap of paper between the pages that was used as a bookmark. My curiosity got the best of me, and I let the book open to that page. Chapter IV. Gaining your Teenager’s Trust. Yeah. That explained everything.

In order to understand the depth of the problem, you need to become closer to the teenager. Make him/her feel trusted and that you understood and he/she will open up to you. It might take time, but it will happen eventually. This will be your moment to find the way to improve the situation and judge if external help in necessary.

I didn’t need to read more. I closed the book, and realized what Phil has been trying to these past few weeks. It was okay. I knew that he cared, but I didn’t know what I could do about it. Definitely not talk to him about vampires and bloodlust and the connection me and Edward had. Or why talking to Alice is a need for me. A need that grew bigger as time passed.

It wasn’t because of the time I was away from Forks. I don’t think that was the problem. I was almost sure that Alice had been avoiding me. At first, she was calling a lot, checking on me three or even four times per day. Now, it was five or six times per week. Most times, I called and no one was home. Or Esme picked up, and said that Alice was shopping or at school or hunting… Such things… I might be paranoid, but I was almost sure she was there all those times, avoiding me. She was doing it on purpose, but I couldn’t understand why. She had left me alone. I couldn’t tell anyone about the dreams or about anything else actually.

Jason was trying to figure out what was going on with me too, just like Phil, out of pure interest. No one wanted the truth in this place anyway. Our school was the Kingdom of Rumors. There had been rumors about me too, but I wasn’t bothering to stop them or give the rumors any merit by defending them. There were things I heard like I was cutting myself and that I had been pregnant, and after having an abortion, I came to live with my mother. These ideas sounded so ridiculous that they made me laugh. It was a bitter laugh, but still. I wouldn’t have realized anything about them at all if it hadn’t been Jason informing me, trying to find out if any were true himself.

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