Chapter 6: Vacation

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Author's Note: Yes, indeed, the story has come so far! I tried to make this chapter good, although I have to admit I avoided the part with walks around New York... There are two reasons for that. One: Bella isn't in a state where shopping sprees appeal to her, still grieving Edward's loss, although I know she's not the shopping kind anyway. And two: Well, I'm not the shopping kind either. Plus I've never visited New York. I could have done some research if I believed it would be what I should focus on during Bella's vacation. Once again, Renee might surprise you. If not, you should know she does surprise me! I swear, she doesn't even asks me before doing something in the story! She's taken the wheel and takes it where she wants! *starts pulling her hair* Gotta love her though! Have fun reading and leave some love!

Chapter 6: Vacation

For the next week the weather was horrible. It became cold and rainy and I was forced to start using the coat I brought from Forks with me. It was as if the weather was doing it for Alice. But it was totally against me. Each moment of bad weather made my heart ache. I missed it. But remembering was worse. It hurt worse. And I couldn’t get to the sea this way. I knew that I that weather I wouldn’t dare to touch the sand with bare legs… let alone touch the water. I didn’t want to get out. I was sitting in my bed, my forehead pressed against the cold glass looking outside at the furious sea. But I didn’t dare to get out. Alice tried everything to cheer me up. I began crying a lot again. Not as much as I did in three months ago but more than normal too. Jason called many times, trying to steal some time with me outside school. I mostly ignored his calls, sometimes picked up and said I was heading to the grocery shop or just got out of the shower. Renee was bouncing with happiness and excitement for the new baby’s arrival like an impatient child. She had more or less eight more months! It didn’t manage to ruin her mood though. Her easel was standing by the window next to the piano and there was always a new canvas on it ready to be painted and an always increasing pile of already colored paintings were on the floor next to it.

“Mom, you keep drawing children playing at the beach,” I noticed once.

“Yes. That’s because I like children and the beach!” she said cheerfully and hummed a song while she was painting a palm’s leaves red… I thought about telling her but I knew she’d say it’s a unique palm and that’s why it’s red or something like that so I just smiled and went in my room.

I was trying to act happy. I really did. It just didn’t seem to work much… The nightmares didn’t leave me. Actually I almost regretted that I let Alice tell me about all these stories for her family because my subconscious recalled them every night. And turned them into a horror movie. The only difference with a real horror movie was that you couldn’t hit the pause button. You had to watch till the end. And every time I woke up I said that it was my dream and that I could change it! It was inside my head after all! But when the real thing began I always forgot my words. I was paralyzed with fear, left there to watch unable to breathe, unable to move, unable to stop it. I feel useless inside my own dreams.

Sometimes I was at the beach with Edward. Something that I had dreamed sometimes but never thought I’d see coming true. I was right. Sometimes I was just watching, Edward was playing the piano in the living room and suddenly he jumped up sliding the piano before the wall fell apart. Sometimes we were at the woods and he was leading me to the meadow. But the end was always the same. I froze on the spot and the red, flame-like hair jumped out of the blue. And I just had to watch until I couldn’t take more and woke up screaming feeling the hole in my chest hurting more and more.

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