nobody will love you like the devil will//frerard/ferard

chapter sixteen

Frank spends the entire journey back to the school trying to talk his boner down. At least the hallway that leads to the bathroom is mercifully empty, and thank fuck for that. Frank does his best to walk to the door in a relaxed and totally non-suspicious way, but he sort of loses his cool when he's still halfway there and ends up sprinting instead. He takes a quick look around to check the bathroom's empty too, then locks himself in the stall closest to the door. He feels twitchy and buzzed, and he's still as hard as a fucking rock in his itchy school slacks. He manages to get his belt undone, but then he yanks the zipper too hard and it jams.

"Motherfucker, why?" he groans under his breath, trying frantically to tug it free again. If he doesn't get a hand on his dick in the next thirty seconds, he is actually going to die. Finally, the fucking thing comes unstuck, and he shoves his pants and his underwear down, braces one hand on the graffiti-covered wall and wraps the other one around his dick. He's trying to be quiet, but he's so fucking turned on that he can't quite stop the thin noise of relief slipping out. There could be people walking past, just on the other side of that thin wall, other kids who could make his life a living hell, nuns, so he bites his tongue and starts working his hand over his cock.

He's always felt so bad about jerking off at all that he hasn't exactly spent much time finding out what feels best, how he likes it, but he knows how to get himself off good and fast. He's embarrassingly close to the edge already, and his hand feels awesome after all Gerard's fucking teasing. He stops to spit into his palm, and it makes the slide slicker, sweeter. He can't believe he's doing this, jacking off in a school bathroom where someone could walk in on him at any moment, but he's too far gone to care.

Frank bites down on his hand to stifle a moan, and lets his mind wander. What'll happen if he's caught, Gerard's mouth, whether the school would call his parents, Gerard fucking him into the mattress, Gerard holding him down, Gerard marking him up and claiming him--

He comes all over his hand, hot and sticky, and collapses against the wall. The wall's pretty gross, but his knees are weak and he feels way too lightheaded to stand up on his own. Fucking hell. Jerking off has never, ever been that intense before.

Eventually, when he can think straight again, he cringes at the mess he's made and grabs a handful of toilet paper to clean himself up. The school buys the cheap, scratchy stuff, of fucking course, and the way it feels on his dick sends confused bolts of sensation shooting up his spine. Down, he thinks at it sternly. Don't you fucking dare. He feels the familiar guilt settle on his shoulders as he zips himself back into his pants and does his belt up, but it doesn't seem quite as heavy as it would have done a few months ago.

He tries not to think about what that might mean.

***

"Okay," says Sister Alicia, leaning back against her desk. She likes to walk around the classroom while she teaches, her habit billowing out behind her. Frank's still kind of on the fence as to whether it's just disconcerting or actually kind of badass. "What would you say is more important: making sure you're not hurting anyone else, or doing what you're told?" She rakes her gaze over them all, clearly expecting an answer.

"But," says William, abandoning his attempt to finger-comb his hair out of his face. "You meant unless you're going against the Bible, right? That doesn't count."

Sister Alicia raises an eyebrow. "Did I stutter, William?" she says sweetly, and Frank sort of grinds to a halt. He replays it in his head, but no, she definitely said what he thought she did. Most of the class is pretty much comatose, as usual, but Frank is listening. Two rows across from Frank, Mikey is suddenly sitting up straight, a faint suggestion of interest on his face. By Mikey's standards, that's probably tantamount to actual hearts in his eyes.