Surviving the McLane Boys ('On Hold Still...')

Chapter 34 - Us

Chapter 34

“So you’re on exchange.” I finally say, looking down at the blue nail polish on my toes.

He looks up at the sky as he sits down next to me on the front wall. “Yeah. School was offering, so I thought it’d be fun.”

I shift over slightly to give him a bit of room, studying the side of his face as he closes his eyes and tilts his head towards the sun. “Why here?” I blurt out. “Why are you here Matt?”

His eyes open and he turns to me, his gaze suddenly intense, “I made a mistake. Crappiest excuse of the century. But it’s true and I was dumb enough to figure it out only now.”

My breathing hitches, more due to the fact that I know what he’s talking about rather than the crowd of McLane’s I know are crowded around the living room window watching us.

“Why are you here?” I repeat, a bit more forcefully.

“When I found out the exchange program was coming here, I jumped at the chance to go… I wanted to see you. After what happened with… Marshall…” he says the name carefully, probably not wanting to upset me, “You never let me tell anyone about… what happened. I got angry… I want to explain why I acted that way.”

I can feel the whites of my eyes slowly going red as I will myself not to tear up now. I’ve cried enough. Now I need to stand up strong and move on.

I take a deep breath, “I was scared back then, Matt. I was scared, alone and needing my best friend.” I slowly stand up and face him, past rage welling up in me after all this time. “But where was he?” I poke him hard in the chest and lean into his face, taking the courage to stare right into his eyes and make sure I get my feelings across, “Not. There.”

“Hailey.” He breathes.

I step back, realising our close proximity and I feel momentarily flustered. I take a deep breath before giving him my coldest stare, “I used to have a best friend. He used to look out for me and be there for me whenever I was in trouble. But as soon as I gave him a simple request he deserted me. Left me alone, to deal with what I had gone through by myself.” I start to walk back up the driveway towards the house but he reaches out and grips my arm, stopping me.

“Hailey, you can’t run away from these things.” Matt says before pulling me into a hug, burying his face in my hair just like he used to.

For a second I’m caught up by the familiarity of this movement. The way his arms encircle around my shoulders, overlapping across the top of my back, pulling me to him to comfort me. The moment passes though as I feel uncomfortable in his embrace, wrong.

I know why. It’s because he’s not Jake.

I push away from Matt roughly, stepping back with an angry glare, “You ran away first Matt.” And with that, I calmly walk towards the McLane’s front door, his words echoing inside my head as I hear him say behind me, “No, you did.”

I slam the front door behind me and walk past the living room –full of basically all the McLane’s sitting around reading upside down books or arm wrestling on the sofa – and right up the stair. I quickly change into something that is more presentable before grabbing my phone and texting M&M.

Massive SOS.

Meet up as soon as possible?

Where? Need Ben and Jerry’s REALLY badly.

Hale.

I grab my wallet and keys, stuffing them into the pocket of my jogging shorts when my phone buzzes again.