Lonely ( Ticci toby x reader)

Chapter one

lonely

        You let out a sigh as you rested your head on his shoulder. He smelled man... He smelled so fucking bad... But You were lonely again.. And you seeked comfort in toby..

" are y-you ok..?" He asked looking down at you. You nodded and dug your face into his shoulder just wanting his warmth.

" y-you're not s-scared anymore right-t..?" His voice was muffled by the mask. You nodded agian and cuddled closer.

"I-I can t-take my mas-s-k off..?" He asked in a more.. Vulnerable tone..

        you nodded agian and hid your face in his smelly clothes. You heard the nose of metal, similar to a belt being undone and he placed his arms down. You looked up slightly, and the giant hole in the side of his face met you. It made you feel slightly sick.. And the room started to smell like rotting flesh.. But your loneliness pushed you to hug toby agian.. You didnt care about the giant hole in his face.. You just wanted his attention..

" you-re s-so s-sweet.." he whispered and you mentally shrugged.

       You just didn't care what he looked like anymore. You had been here for a while and really..You can get use to anything. At first when he took it off.. You screamed.. You're suprised that it didn't shatter glass windows, It was blood curtailing.. Now you just kind of feel bad for reacting like that.. You justify it though, With times like this.

" you-re s-still ok r-right..?" There came the  Vulnerable voice again. You nodded and continued to cling to him. His smell didn't bother you anymore and now you were relaxed enough to actually sleep. " and y-you-re not s-s-scared..?"

        You shook your head again and smiled up at him. You wanted to make him happy, the happier he was, the better he treated you, and happier you became but you also made him happy because you loved him. It wasn't.. Always that way.. No.. But now.. You dont remember a time when it wasn't.. Many would say it wasnt love but.. Stockholm syndrome.. But you would harshly disagree.  You actively made a choice to love toby.. Its not like he forced you.. Or anything.. The only reason why.. Someone would accuse you if this was because.. Well, You were, at one time, a hostage. But.. You didn't Mistake a lack of abuse or anything as kindness or love. Largely because there was no physical, sexual or mental abuse.. Thinking back on it.. It was more.. Well.. Just "manipulation".. And light manipulation at that.. But now thinking of it.. The real reason why you chose to love and stay with toby was well.. because.. You were lonely. Toby, made you feel loved.. And in return.. All you could do was love him back..

" i love you.." You mumbled as you continued to lay on him.. Shifting being antsy. You don't know why.. But you couldn't sit still for five minuets.. You continued shifting and moving.. You wrapped your arms around his neck and moved into his lap with your legs still resting on the couch. You felt clingy and you wanted him, all of him, giving you undivided attention. You rested your head on the crook of his neck. His hair was greasy.. Really greasy.. But you let it touch you.. You even let some of it rest on your forehead.

" aww..." You heard toby, louder now that the mask was off. " r-really-y..?"

        You nodded and countinued to rest there.. Having your hands play with eachother while they rested on toby.

" y-you-re not jus-st s-saying that..?"

        You shook your head and placed kisses on his smelly shoulder and neck. You felt him smile and air escaped his nose.

" ah! H-hey! S-s-stop!" He pushed you, Harder then he ment too. This was common, so you dug your nails into his jacket so you could keep on him. You always clung to toby.. He made you feel save and still here, like you were still a person. You gave him another kiss the sunk down so you could look up at him. The giant hole met you again, and you smiled, reaching up to touch his cheek.