( I literally just wrote this right now I barely edited it... can you tell im going through some shit? Lol)
Your head throbbed, as pain painted inside of your skull. You felt it smear on the inside of your bones, your nerve endings going up in flames.
You grabbed your hair, pulling on it, squeezing your eyes shut, causing those small little white sparkles in your black vision.
You gritted your teeth, crying out in pain.
God your fucking head hurt
It hurt so much
You laid on the couch, the tv was shut off but you still heard it. Whispers in your ears that sent even more pain all over your skin and down your spine.
Your baby kicked, and it added to the headache, if not caused it.
"Just leave me alone!" You cried out, feeling frustrated tears come out.
It still kicked. you felt it.. thump your insides and pound against your stomach.
"I hate you!" You screamed. "I hate you! I wish i never let that idoit talk me into this"
You cried out... strangely feeling better.. but still angry... your head still pounding, screaming at you. You panted... and you shook. You didn't know what was going on... and you never felt so alone..
It kicked and moved, like it was struggling to get out.
You screamed again, ripping your vocal cords making you cough and choke.
"Im so stupid! So very stupid! I hate you and i hate myself and i hate toby!" You screeched, flinging yourself up, gripping your hair, ripping some out as you dragged your nails down your scalp, ripping into your temples, your nails scraping down your face.
You felt the warm beads of blood rush down your cheeks.
You panted... and sobbed. You felt your lungs tightened and you wheezed.
"Why did he leave me here... why am i so leaveable?!" You yelled out to the empty house. "Why does everyone leave me?! Am i that hard to love?!"
You pounded your fists on the couch and cried...
You cried and cried... your tears leaving burning streaks down your face... spit and snot driping to your chin but you didnt care
This was an ugly cry.. for an ugly life... an ugly situation and for your ugly self..
"Why couldn't he just abandon me...? Why did he have to leave me alone... why did he leave me here... and i suppose to die here..?"
You sobbed out at a more normal vomlume... enough for it to echo... enough for maybe god to hear...
Your heart pounded... and a million thoughts ran around in your head...
"Does mom even miss me..?" You thought outloud...
You never dared to ask about that question... because the scenarios you made in your head left you weak and it made your heart break...
"Does she even know im gone...?"
And just like that you could have swore you smelled it. The faint scent of her cigarette smoke... and the smell of her perfume..
You thought for a moment, of the last conversation you had with her.
You had just gotten home from school, you got home later than usual, stopping to get some after school tutoring for a big test coming up...
You laughed, a dry sarcastic laugh...
YOU ARE READING
Lonely ( Ticci toby x reader)
Fanfiction( short and graphic, viewer be warned) You let out a sigh as you rested your head on his shoulder. He smelled man... He smelled so fucking bad... But You were lonely again.. And you seeked comfort in toby.. " are y-you ok..?" He asked looking down...
