Lonely ( Ticci toby x reader)

Chapter two

Lonely part two

You laid on his chest. His heartbeat was slow and uneven, while his breathing wasn't consistent. You woke him up now and then for holding his breath in his sleep, But he would always ignore you, brush it off, and go back to sleep. You didn't sleep though, you just laid there, staring at the celling, listening to the world outside. In the summer, there would be crickets and frogs who enjoyed the wet earth and the thick humid air. The winter, brought silence and sometimes rain if you were lucky, and heavy snow fall that seemed to pile up so high that it would cave in the roof, crushing you like an insect on the bed where you laid peacefully with toby. It was in the middle of autumn now, and every so often you would hear leaves fall to the floor, or an animal crunching them, as it walked by the house unaware of what was inside, the animals didn't care, they were  just looking for food before winter.

You loved the night time, even if you didn't sleep, you loved hearing the peaceful world around you. You also liked laying with toby, he was so warm and you cuddled up to him, holding him close, being cold like always. It was always cold and you didn't retain much body heat. In the years you've been here, you've lost an alarming amount of weight. Your body showed pale skin, that you obtained by only really staying indoors.. Your pale skin, holding on tightly to your skinny, boney frame. You didn't mind your rapid weight loss really, it never concerned you, it wasn't on purpose either, just the consequence of rarely eating. You didn't do that on purpose either, you just never really felt hungry, neither did toby, so that both led you guys to forget you needed to eat, and even then, when you would remember, you still didn't feel hunger. You would know you were hungry though, even if you didn't feel the sensation you still felt your stomach tighten up and growl occasionally. You felt the tiredness and pain that came with the lack of food, and thanks to your random eating schedule, when you did eat, you would feel nauseous.. And your stomach would groan and hurt, so every time you did eat you wouldn't want to eat again, so the cycle would continue painfully.

Hours later, toby jumped awake, scaring you awake in the process. He panted and grabbed you tightly.

" ah..! S-sorry.. S-sor-ry.." He panted slightly.
" are you ok..?" You cuddled up to toby again, giving him your comfort.
" yeah y-yeah... Yeah.." He said slightly bothered. You knew his sleep apnea woke him up but he wouldn't admit to it.

" ..... are you going back to sleep?"
" no-n-no.. Are you.. Are-?"
" no.. Im awake.." You mumbled slightly, you just didn't sleep. " can we lay here though..?"

Your voice was now vulnerable.

" yeah.. I-i dont want to.. To.. To.. Get up.. Any.. Anyway.."
" do you have work..?" You asked hoping the answer was no, if he worked that means he had to leave you, it also meant, he might come home upset and he wouldn't be ok with you being overly affectionate.
" yeah.. But ill wait until.. Til.. Till.. tim comes..s... in and bothers-s me into.. To.. going.."

You both sat there in comfortable silence, you cuddled to his side, stuck like super glue, your head resting listening to his relaxing uneven breaths.

".. Hey.. hey.." He shook you slightly. " y/n..?"
" yeah..?" You asked eagerly but not wanting to show it. Your name sounded so gorgeous comming from his lips.
" do you.. You.. think i-i would be-be a good dad..?"

That was a new one.

" under the.. The.. right ci..circums-stances-s?"

You knew tobys past with kids. Toby liked to well... take them, them, and other objects he felt were his. That all stopped when you came along, but he told you stories of kids who he well..... "adopted", and you found children's toys lying around in random places every now and then. Toby liked kids around 4-8, he thought they were cute, and they had the same Energy as him, so really, it was a good match but, in all honesty, he was a horrible father. The kids were most likely screwed up after that, not only because of the trauma of being adducted but because he only fed them junk food and all they did was sit there zoned out, watching tv all day. so that cant be healthy. When he got bored of them he would simply dump them in a random town with their memory erased. cruel.. yes, you admitted that, but you knew he truly didn't mean anything bad, he never hurt the kids, and as far as you knew, he never had an episode in front of them. He loved the kids.. He just.. Didn't know he was doing was wrong.. And in some cases he thought he was helping them, but its uncertain if he actually ever did. he's lost contact with them a long time ago, so, theres no way of knowing how the kids were doing now. You knew something though, toby wanted kids. He loved being a father and it made him incredibly happy, so the question he asked you knew, you would have to say yes too.