Flat Tire

iv; will

"And I don't want the world to see me / 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand / When everything's meant to be broken / I just want you to know who I am" - The Goo Goo Dolls, 'Iris'

"Bella broke up with me." I finally spit it out, somehow getting the words past the lump in my throat. They taste bitter.

I notice Jamie's deep brown eyes flash with some unrecognisable emotion before I quickly divert my attention back to the road. I'm not sure which direction I'm driving anymore, only that I've lost track of the diversion route.

"Oh, Will, I'm so sorry," he says. His voice is soft, tentative. "You seemed so happy."

My stomach lurches. I thought so too. I just shake my head and grit my teeth. My throat aches; I feel a sudden rush of panic that I'm about to cry.

"It's fine," I say, but it doesn't take a genius to know that I'm lying.

My eyes are welling up and I hate it, hate that I'm letting Jamie see me looking so vulnerable.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jamie asks.

I pause. Do I want to talk about it? I loved her, she apparently loved me, until she decided we weren't working anymore so she ended it and broke my heart. There's not much else to say. But I desperately want to talk to someone, to have someone listen to me.

Not just someone, though. Jamie, my best friend. The person I've always wanted to talk to; whether it's something good or bad, Jamie is the one I want to tell.

So, I tell him. Everything: how Bella's voice changed when she told me it was over, like I didn't even know her anymore; how my parents' constant arguing has left the word 'divorce' weighing heavily over our household; how I'm scared and disorientated and I need something to hold onto.

So, Jamie listens. My gaze flickers between the road and his face. Eyes wide, staring intently at me, bottom lip caught between his teeth. I get this feeling that I want to look at him forever.

When I finally stop talking and come to a pause at a traffic light, I glance across at him again. Silently, Jamie places his hand in the space between us. I look down at it, momentarily confused.

"You said you need something to hold onto," Jamie says.

Before I can process anything more than the smile creeping onto my lips, I reach out with my left hand and grab his in mine.