Preordained #ProjectNigeria

24- Oops!

And all the wrongs she committed, she was numb and she was so co-deoendent. She was young and all she had was the city...---In The Night by The Weeknd

Nwanyieze's POV~

Standing beside Temi right in front of Peckers, I breathe in the familiar scents of Opebi: spicy chicken from the restaurant itself, smoke from the exhaust pipes of cars passing by, the heavy perfumes of the women standing and strutting the area around me.

"Babe, e don tay when I see you last oh," Temi tells me.
It's been long since I last saw you.

"I've been busy, my dear," I reply.

Busy giving your attention to a man who won't want anything to do with you now that he knows you're from nowhere. Stupid girl.

I guess it could have been worse, though. What if he had found out, through one way or another, that I am a prostitute? What would he have done then? I'm pretty sure I would have made myself disappear permanently.
Yes, that's how much I care about Maduka's opinions.

That's how much I care about Maduka.

Was I really that stupid to think, for one moment, that we could actually have something in common, something that would bring us closer?

And, I'd actually enjoyed myself while it lasted, the meaningful discussions that had nothing to do with sex and it's price, the attraction between us...

Which brings me to the reason I'm standing here. You see, meeting Maduka had subconsciously made me shy away from the streets, from what I do because I didn't feel that interest any longer. It was like he was slowly getting underneath my skin even without touching me; being close to him made me so aware of myself in ways I can't describe, and I've never felt that way before, not even with all the handsome men I've been with in my short life.

I'm here because I want to prove to myself that I can get him out of my system, that now we have nothing to do with each other, I can go back to my old life without any wahala.

You're also here because it's all you've known, that dark voice in my head tells me. Loveless sex is all you're used to, and you're scared you won't be able to cope in a relationship. You're tainted, stained, dirty.

Who would even accept me as I am now, though? If I ever met a guy and said, "Oh, you know, I used to be a prostitute, and a victim of sexual abuse," would he, in his right senses, want me anymore? Hell no.

With a sigh, I adjust my wig, arrange the fringes, and use my palms to smoothen the front of my black, sleeveless gown. This one is a bit loose and very short with a low-cut neckline, ending at mid-thigh. On my feet are strappy silver six-inch heels.

"So what have you been up to?" Temi asks me, snapping me out of my dark thoughts.

"School work, you know."

After Saheed's party, we haven't seen each other, but we spoke over the phone twice and I gave her sketchy details of how it had gone for me. She had called Saheed an 'evil spirit' and I had laughed so hard she had to yell at me to stop before I suffocated.

"No use book kill yourself oh," she warns me.
Don't use books to over work yourself.

Temi does not attend university; she feels that it's too late for her, despite my encouragement. I tell her that there are older people than she is there, but she remains adamant, while being wistful as well. She fears she won't be able to cope in such an environment.