Bittersweet

28| Coconut Ladoo

It was raining as Lamar drove me and Gage to meet Armita at a restaurant in Miami. It never snowed in December, but instead rained. At least not in Florida. I always wished that the holidays would make some sort of difference in the weather, but it never did. Still, there was something soothing about the rain as we made our way towards the restaurant. It calmed my raging thoughts that seemed to never slow down these days. I worried more than usual. About Gage, about my parents, about everything. But watching the miniature rivers slide along the window eased my mind a bit. I imagined for a moment what it would be like to be boundless like a droplet when I heard Lamar ask, "Did you seriously make forty coconut ladoos for one person?"

It took me a moment to realize he was talking to me. I looked up to see him eyeing the box sitting in my lap warily through the rearview mirror as he pulled up to a red light. I almost forgot about them.

"You said that these are Armita's favorite," I gestured to the pink box. "I wanted to give her something nice for helping us."

"And that is nice, but forty?"

I frowned down at the box that was admittedly filled to capacity with the little ball-shaped sweets. "Maybe she can save some for later."

"Maybe," he agreed, before pressing the gas when the light turned green.

I sighed and looked back at my box when I noticed Gage checking his phone for something. Usually he's not on his phone unless Violet was texting him, but I know she's in class right now. For some reason today he's been checking it non-stop and hardly looks at me when I try to talk to him. I figured it was just nerves, but I would be lying if I said it didn't bother me.

"Is Jason not going to meet us at the restaurant?" I offered.

Gage shook his head as he typed away on his phone. "No, he uh . . . has some other stuff to do today."

"Oh, okay," I watched as he locked his phone and slid it back in his pants. "I'm actually kind of surprised you were able to get any information from him."

I was confused when his body stiffened at that but then slowly relaxed as he said, "It . . . wasn't easy at all."

"Oh, goodness. Did you two fight again?"

"Not exactly, no."

I eyed him up and down noting the way he seemed standoffish about the topic, so I decided not to pry anymore. I don't know what happened, but clearly, it wasn't something he was willing to address. Maybe that was why he was so closed off today. Plus, I'm not sure he really wanted to talk about it right now with Lamar in hearing range. Not that we don't trust him. It's just that as much as we loved him, some things needed to remain private.

My attention went back to the rain that pitter-pattered against Lamar's car before we suddenly came to a stop. I was so focused on the rain I didn't notice where we were.