The Fourth Fall (Sequel to Boy In My Class) Gerard Way

Chapter 3: Chemistry

Work was different today. I felt excited about teaching, and I put one-hundred-percent enthusiasm into my classes the entire day. The students were engaged in the class and I felt like I was starting to sort my head out- it’s amazing what a little bit of encouragement from an enthusiastic student can do for you.

However, I knew that I shouldn’t be excited today. I knew the reason I was excited and I knew that it was wrong, but My Chemical Romance were playing in New York tonight for a television show, and all of the fans could attend because it was in a studio where you could look in from outside via huge glass windows. I knew I shouldn’t go and I knew it would probably kill me to see him again, but I also knew that I had terrible willpower and was going to do it anyway.

I met Olivia after work and she reassured me that it would be good for me to finally face up to everything that I had been bottling up inside. 

“I’m so nervous,” I spoke so quietly that I was pretty sure nobody could possibly hear me, but Olivia heard. 

“I think once you face your demons you can get over them,” she said, as we turned the corner to the street where My Chem would be. A crowd of dedicated fans stood outside screaming and waiting, a sight that was strange for me because I had only really hung out with the guys before they became super popular. We joined the crowd and, with some serious difficulty, pushed our way to the front. I pressed myself up against the glass and saw two chairs, one, which was empty, and one that contained a reporter who was talking into the camera about My Chemical Romance and their success with Black Parade.

“Please give it up for Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance!” she shouted, and the crowd outside went ballistic. I felt several fans accidentally hit me as they jumped and screamed, but I didn’t even notice because at that moment, I saw him. He appeared out of nowhere and waved at the windows, causing the fans to go even more crazy, and then sat down in the chair to talk to the reporter. I couldn’t focus on what he was saying and the sound of everyone around me seemed to fade into silence as I looked at him. His hair was now a shocking bright shade of red, but his face was the same as I’d always remembered it- perfect, cute and incredibly innocent. I had one hand pressed against the glass as I stared at him, unable to process the emotions that were running through me. He looked so healthy and…happy. He truly did look happy. I could feel tears forming in my eyes and I couldn’t understand why. I guess I had assumed that Gerard was just as unhappy without me as I was without him. But then I remembered that I had stayed in the same job for the past four years and he had travelled the world, spent three of those years with Lindsey as his girlfriend and become an incredibly successful musician. Why would he be unhappy at all?

“So, your new album is just about to be released- fancy telling us some of the inspiration behind the record?” asked the reporter. 

“Well,” Gerard began with a smile. His slightly high-pitched and gorgeous voice ran through my ears making me feel weak. “It’s definitely a lot more upbeat than Parade…obviously it has this whole concept to it which you’ll see when the record is released but it’s a much more positive sound.”

“What made you decide to change your sound so dramatically?” 

“I mean...I think we just felt more positive and it shows in the record,” he said, scratching his nose and looking intently at his feet. “Ray and Frank got married, Frankie’s got a baby on the way, and I haven’t felt this happy in my entire life, so it just came from that, you know?” He looked up at the reporter and grinned, before waving at the crowd through the glass windows. I closed my eyes and prayed that he wouldn't see me. I tried to process all of the information he had just spoken at once. Ray had gotten married. Frank was going to be a father. Gerard had never been happier.

Without me. 

The sound of the interview faded away again as I stared at Gerard. I decided that I couldn’t bear to look at him anymore and attempted to leave, but as I was at the front I was barricaded in by so many fans. 

“Well thanks for taking the time to speak with us Gerard. Good luck with the new album and…wave goodbye to the fans!” 

The crowd around me erupted into screams and I instantly felt panic take over. Gerard ran over to the glass windows and began waving and smiling at all of the fans. I tried so hard to move away but everybody was pushing toward the glass and I had no hope of escaping. I saw him slowly waving and walking along the huge windows until he was so close that I wanted to scream. I closed my eyes and tried to sit down so that he wouldn’t see me, but it was too late. His eyes locked with mine and I saw the look of shock and horror flash through his eyes. He stared at me and I stared back, with no words exchanged. I felt my heart begin to beat so quickly that I started to worry that I was having a heart attack. Thoughts began racing in my head about what would happen next and whether or not he would say something, but he quickly broke eye contact and a smile spread back onto his face as he waved at the rest of the fans before eventually leaving and disappearing out of my sight. 

I looked around for Olivia but she had disappeared into the crowd of fans that were now slowly disbanding. I waited a good hour for everybody to leave, not wanting to walk away from the window where the love of my life had stood just sixty minutes prior to this moment. Olivia eventually came running up to me.

 “Those fans are crazy,” she said with a half-hearted laugh. “I think I got swept away in some kind of current, as if I were in the ocean.” 

She saw my expressionless face and sighed. 

“This wasn’t a good idea was it?” she said. “Damn, this is all my fault.” 

"For some weird fucking reason," I said, trying to hold back tears. "I thought that when he saw me, he would feel differently. I thought things would just be how they used to be, when we used to look at each other and smile at each other, and we always both felt this...chemistry. I still felt it when I looked at him but he just turned away and carried on walking."

"You don't know how he felt," she said in an attempt to reassure me. "He can't have a reunion with you through a window whilst you're surrounded by fans."

"I want to go home," I said, my voice becoming more and more shaky. "I shouldn't have come here."

At that point a tall, burly security guard came out of a nearby fire exit.

“Are you Isabel?” he said. I nodded, feeling panic rush through me again.

 “Come with me,” he said, beckoning me towards the door he had just come out of. “Gerard asked me to find you.”