Nest Among The Stars

Family - Part 11

"I am not retarded."

Michael purposely phrased what he said for the day and age he was in. He refrained from adding 'Mama' to it, not wanting to encourage any affection he may soon have to disabuse.

No sooner did he speak, than Mama gathered him in a tight embrace, looking up into his eyes searching for her son. "What did you say Herman?" she asked. "Say it again. Don't say anything Hans might have told you to say. Tell your Mama the truth," poured from her in an apprehensive rush.

Michael did not respond right away. A small doubt lingered as to whether he had chosen wisely. To remain as the mentally challenged 'Herman' who they thought him to be would bind him to be an observer to their wasteful deaths — and possibly to his own. However, revealing himself as Michael, a person from a future time possessing knowledge about what was soon to befall them, might save their lives, if they could be convinced of such a fantastic and wholly unbelievable story — an especially difficult task when coming from the mouth of someone they knew to be 'retarded'. The greater chance would not be in convincing them of what he said, but in being seen by them as insane, thereby virtually guaranteeing he would be unable to prevent the coming destruction. Might it not be best to encourage their belief in a miracle by some supernatural force? Play on their superstitious beliefs in a healing, a sign from God and, when they are convinced, speak with the voice and moral authority of God to save them?

"I am not retarded," Michael repeated, conveying the statement's truth with an imperceptible false sincerity, masking the actual intent for what he said.

Mama clung tighter to him, tears flowing from her eyes as she shook with sobs. "Oh that it were true, I would light a thousand more candles to the blessed Virgin. No, ten thousand; and ten thousand more in addition to those," she cried between joy and confusion. Then letting go, she stepped back, wiping with stubby fingers at the wet streaks running down her face. "Swear it Herman. If it is true, swear it. And then talk to me. Talk to me in ways you have never done before. Talk to me like Hans does. Tell me what happened to you today."

Traveling an uncertain path, Michael knew he had to be careful. His knowledge could prevent the many deaths presently to come, but he also knew the men and boys laboring in the field had in fact died, their deaths already part of past history in his own time. Would preventing their deaths change the future in which he lived? It was an unproven hypothetical question, the realm of science fiction, one largely ignored by science. A question he might unwittingly answer by what he now did.

How could stopping them from being killed not alter the course of future events? Hans, and the other boys he had seen, would otherwise perish without having fathered children, who in turn would not father children, and on ad infinitum. If they were to live, thousands upon thousands of people would be added to the generations, right up to his own time. There would be an impact on history whether or not he, or anyone else, would ever even be aware of the changes which took place. Perhaps things would turn out better if they were all to live, perhaps worse. He might not ever know. Although he had returned twice before to his own present from displacements into the past, there was no guarantee he would do so a third time.

He also considered whether he could even prevent the deaths. Having already occurred once, were they not now set in stone? Nathaniel had modeled 'time' as a sphere; the same yesterday, today and forever, with all events taking place simultaneously. If this were true, once an event happens it should be impossible to prevent it at another time — the event now exists on the face of the sphere — and therefore why bother trying to stop the unstoppable?

But Nathaniel had said the 'sphere' model wasn't an accurate representation of time; only something to assist with his understanding. Of course there had to be more to it. If his displacements in time were Nathaniel's doing — and who else could be responsible but Nathaniel — he would certainly have considered the possible repercussions in sending someone back to a prior historical setting. Unless time was unalterable Nathaniel would not have risked changes being made to it. Unless of course Nathaniel knew that he had already been part of past events and had sent him back to act upon those events as he had supposedly already done before. Then again there was another possibility. What if Nathaniel was using him to change the course of history?