Dear Bradley,

Goodbye Bradley.

Goodbye - Avril Lavigne

September 25th, 2019.

Dear Bradley,

This will be my last letter to you.

Looking back on these letters reminded of our time together. You were my best friend. You were my happiness. You were my person. I couldn't thank you enough for allowing me to experience what all I have experienced during my time with you.

You were my first love and my first heartbreak. I'm glad it was you though. I wouldn't want it to be anybody else.

It's weird to think that now I'm 22 and you're 24. Maybe you have kids now? Maybe a wife or a fiancé? Maybe a whole family by now. I am shook and single with no kids. Haha, if we were to ever meet again, I'll explain that shook part.

Well, here's some updates from those old depressing letters I went last.

My dog Taylor died on June 26th, 2019. That was a pain I had never experienced before. I mean I've experienced death of family members, but not the death of someone or something that I was extremely attached to. I felt my heart break, literally. I don't know if your dog is still is still alive. If he is, I hope he's hanging in there. If he's not, then I am so sorry, Bradley. I wish we still had contact when it comes to moments like this. We could brighten up each other's day so easily as if nothing had ever happened that day.

I'm not the same girl that you met in 2012. I still get called bubbly, but I know I'm not the same. However, it's called growing up I suppose. I wonder how you've changed, but. Any who.

I graduated. I had to drop out of high school and attend a GED program but I studied hard and I made it. I know you would've been proud, because I remember you had serious school troubles in your senior year... maybe that's why you left so abruptly? To gather yourself together?

I don't know.

I don't really ponder over it much anymore. I know that I still love you. I'm not in love with you anymore.

That's another first that you have from me, hm? You're the first person I've fallen out of love with. Never think that I don't love you at all anymore, though.

I will always love you, Bradley. I meant that promise at 15 years old and I mean it now at 22 years old.

I'm doing better. I'm growing to be a better person everyday, and I hope you're doing the same.

Gosh. Reading over those letters has brought back some memories, man. I still miss you, BB.

I just thought this would be a nice way to wrap this book of letters up.

Even though we're no longer in contact, you still make me smile. I feel like this is an insider between us if you can remember that first song you ever sent me. I had never heard of that song but after you sent it, now I hear it everywhere.

Even to this day, when it starts to play in a grocery store... Immediately, I'm thinking of you.

Welp.

I'm going to bed now. I have to go to work in the morning, and I can't keep writing late night letters to you anymore. You have moved on, I assume...

So now, so should I. 

I'll never not miss you.

I'll always love you.

And forever, I'll thank you.

Goodbye, Bradley. ❤️

Yours Always,

A.