Sweet afternoons

Chapter eleven

I found myself lost. After my confrontation with Andres I didn't know what to do with myself.

The bakery had been closed down for the weekend to give everybody some much needed time off of work, so I didn't have much to distract myself with.

I tried to find ways to occupy the time by reading books and watching films. I read Jane Austen's pride and prejudice before watching the film and comparing the two. It was a strange hobby, to compare books to films in such a vigorous way, but it helped keep my mind off of my problems.

However, I soon realised that watching and reading romance stories, while in the midst of my own romantic disaster, wasn't the best idea.

There was a longing that seemed to grow in my heart as I watched the characters falling in love. Every smile and embrace tugged at my heart painfully and I let myself wallow in the feeling.

The longer I stayed there, the more confused I grew. I had though I was totally full of anger, my other emotions hidden behind walls of hurt. But somehow, there was an immense sadness that I had been ignoring.

A knock at the door startled me, but I welcomed the interruption happily. I desperately needed to take my mind off of Andres at the risk of breaking down in tears.

I leapt to my feet, pausing the film I had been watching and rushing towards the hallways. Without taking a second to breathe, I unlocked the wooden door and pulled it open as widely as I could.

"Eager to see me, Lena?" The comforting male voice enticed a smile out of me and I warmly welcomed Nate into the house. It seemed like forever since we'd spoken properly; he'd been rather stressed due to the increasing number of customers so hadn't been able to keep up his usual friendly attitude.

We walked into the front room together and sat beside one another on the sofa. It was clear by the look in his eyes that he wanted to say something but was having trouble putting it into words.

"Lena, how are you? Really?" The young man had a fragile tone to his voice, it was clear he was still being affected by the days he'd spent in the over-crowded bakery. I couldn't bring myself to say anything that would make him any more upset.

So I lied.

"I'm good, Nate, really good," I said with fake enthusiasm, moving to tell him that everything was going fine and I was finally able to relax again. Continuing the facade, I told Nate that I had gotten over what has happened and wasn't affected by any of it anymore.

It felt bad, to lie to Nate so brutally. I had always wanted to be completely honest with him and he was with me. However, I couldn't stand the thought of making him worry during an already very stressful period.

As I should have suspected, Nate immediately saw through my dishonesty and reprimanded me for the lies I was telling. "Don't pretend it's okay when it's not, I know you too well."

I was embarrassed at being caught out so easily, so began to mumble random excuses. My words were faint and jumbled but I managed to say that I was just tired and not used to being away from the bakery. Nate's cold stare made me shrink back in my seat.

We locked eyes for a moment and the intense look he gave me made me cower. The silence seemed to last forever and the longer it went on the more visibly frustrated Nate got. I didn't want to make him angry; our friendship was a very harmonious one.

Despite this, I still couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth. I was so confused by everything at the time that I didn't think sharing my thoughts would be a good idea.

However it was clear to me now that lying wasn't a good idea either. Letting out a loud sigh, I sat up straight, attempting to appear stronger than I felt.