How To Be The Best Third Wheel

Original Edition - Tip 7: Focus on Family

After the experiencing the most awkwardness humanly possible, I turn the key and enter my house. I am hoping to get some peace and quiet but then I remember that I am entering my house. Let's catch you up, shall we?

My house is a jungle. Not a literal jungle, like where I was located for the summer but even more wild. When guests come over, our house and family is picture perfect. But on a regular day like this? I can barely make it to my bedroom alive. With 3 crazy sisters and 2 crazy parents and an even crazier grandmother, it's a wonder that I can keep a schedule. People can say that having brothers are a nightmare, but having crazy sisters is even worse. If you think about it, there are 5 women in this household who have periods at different times of the month. Result? A very hard time dealing with moodswings. I can barely handle my own, let alone 4 others! Plus, my Lola (grandmother) can be extremely chatty at times. Especially when it comes to my life.

I open the door, quiet as a mouse, hoping to not attract the attention of my family members. The millisecond that my toe scratches the surface of the floor, the sound of loud yelling hits my ears.

"It's not my fault that it broke again!" my mom yells at my dad in sassy english. They fight like this all the time. Not really fighting, but more like playful arguing. Like, they're not mad at each other, but they're just loud people?

"Dahil sa karamihan ng damit mo, na sira na naman ang closet!" he sighs loudly. (Because you have so many clothes, the closet broke again!)

I almost laugh. My parents had this same argument a few months ago when the shelves of my parent's closet broke and all of the clothes came tumbling down like an avalanche. It was mostly because of my mom's handbag collection, so my dad added another shelf. He also had to repair the one that fell. It was hilarious!

My mom just laughs at him, not disagreeing.

My dad continues. "Stop buying clothes! Ang dami mo ng damit!" (You already have so many clothes!)

I shake my head at the continuing battle between the two and make my way upstairs to my bedroom. By the time I get downstairs, my parents will probably be dying of laughter since towards the end of their "fights" it starts getting funny.

Lola Nora must be in her room sleeping, reading the bible, or checking her Twitter, since no one is attacking me with questions about the latest school gossip. Yes, she has a Twitter account, as well as an Instagram.

I lock my bedroom door and change my clothes. As I take off the tight jeans and lift my shirt over my head, I feel free. I unclasp my bra and throw it onto the bed. As every girl knows, taking off your bra is like letting go of weight or tight clothing. I put on my gray sweatpants and my favourite oversized t-shirt. I take my hair out of its intricate braid and clip it up with a giant clip.

I head downstairs, only to find my parents back to normal. Well, their type of normal. My mom sees me and asks, "When did you come home, Ara?"

"I came home like five minutes ago, but you guys were too busy fighting about your closet or something." I say, as I walk towards the kitchen in search for a snack.

"How was school?" mom asks, like she usually does when she gets home. Today was her day off work, but she usually comes 30 minutes after I get home.

"It was boring." I lie. But what am I supposed to say? Guess what mom? My three best friends just got boyfriends and I was blackmailed by a baboon?

"Really? Oh. Well Tita Gia called and asked me to say thank you to you for helping James out."

Tita in english, translates to aunt. No, James' mom is not my parent's sister. We're not even related! Not even a bit! But she and mom have been co-workers at Open Heart General Hospital since before I was even born. Needless to say, they've been friends for the longest time. And in the Philippines, you can almost call anyone tita. (From my 16 years of observation, that is.) I was trained to call anyone Filipina, (older sister) ate (ah-teh) or (aunt) tita (tee-ta). On the other hand, anyone filipino, (older brother) kuya (koo-ya) or (uncle) tito (tee-to).