For you, I'll stop the clock

Chapter 6 : The Warlock

Alec was nervous. Probably more nervous than he'd ever been in his life. Which was surprising because his mother had reacted way worse than Magnus ever would, but somehow meeting the Warlock seemed a much more intimidating task than dealing with Maryse.

Izzy was doing her best to hold herself together for him. Laughing, teasing him like she used to about Magnus, but one look in her eyes told him her heart wasnt in it.

"Come on, Alec" she whined insistantly, tugging at his sleeve. He'd put on a new set of clothes, chosen for the occasion by Isabelle, his dark jacket and clean jeans. He felt ridiculous. Like he's was going for a job interview instead of to meet his boyfriend.

Jace hadn't come with them. He was strangely withrawn. Well, as withrawn as Jace could be. He'd mumbled something about watching over the institute and insisted on staying behind.

Not that Alec minded. He felt more comfortable doing this alone anyway but Isabelle didn't seem willing to leave him alone for even a second. He hoped this would be a passing phase.

They were almost there now. One turn of a corner and the apartment would peak out from behind the rows upon rows of buildings.

Alec froze in his tracks.

"Alec?" Isabelle turned to him, her eyebrows knitted together in worry, "What's wrong?"

"I...." Alex trailed off, and diverted his eyes, letting his gaze wonder to the shadow covered streets of New York. It was a quiet night. A few downworlders around. Barely any mundanes. He'd got a few odd looks from a few farmiliar facrs on his way here, a werewold he'd seen at the bar he and Magnus had visited on their first date, one of Raphael's vampires and a few other nameless faces.

"Alec...its okay. Magnus loved you back then. He'll love you just as much now" Isabelle's eyes were soft. He could feel the pity eminating off her and if there was one thing Alec hated it was being pitied.

He steeled himself immediately and took off down the path, his jaw set. His jacket bellowed silently about his waist. He heard the click of heels as Isabelle stalked after him, muttering colorfully under her breath.

Before he knew it they were there, standing before the building that he'd spent so many days, so many nights in. Memories flashed in front fo Alec's eyes. The nights spent entwined in Magnus's arms, his smooth chocolate skin cool and soothing against Alec's. The mornings when Magnus would insist on having a tinge of vodhka in his coffee. The sunsets watched on his balcony, fingers entwined with soft kisses and gentle whispers.

Would this be the last time?

"Izzy, could you maybe wait here? Or in the lobby? I....I think this is something I need to do alone"

Isabelle looked at her brother carefully, accessing his state and then nodded slowly.

"Alright. Call me if you need anything"

Alec agreed and hurried inside, past the reception and to the elevator, punching the keys roughly in his haste. The numbers seemed to pass by incredibly slowly.

He hadn't realized till now just how much he'd missed Magnus. He hadn't seen him for weeks, even before the Turn, he'd been too preoccupied by the decision to be with Magnus. Or maybe it was that the thought of losing him to time was too unbearable to imagine.

The elevator finally stilled and the doors slid open. Alec sprinted across the short corridor till he reached the apartment.

He rang the doorbell. Once. Twice.

"Yes, yes, I heard you the first time" came the Warlock's voice and Alec felt a familiar tug in his chest. Except this time it felt different with no heartbeat to accompany it. He suddenly realized he'd put as much distance between the door and himself as possible. 

He shook himself, telling himself he was being stupid. This was Magnus, his boyfriend. He'd understand. 

He had to. 

The door opened. 

And suddenly he was face to face with Magnus, who Alec had done this for. The reason he'd given up being a Shadowhunter. The reason he was, well, dead.

The mischievous glimmer in Magnus's eyes vanished the moment his eyes fell on Alec. Alec watched his expression go from confusion to realization in less than a second. 

"Alec" was all he said, and it was all he needed to say to make all repressed Alec's emotions come rushing back. Anger at his mother for not accepting him, fear at what he'd done, regret, sadness, everything just all at once and it was just too much.

"Magnus" he whispered, his voice cracking. Magnus had to accept him. He couldn't lose Magnus. He just couldn't. It would be too much. 

For a  moment it felt like Magnus would turn away.

And then suddenly, the warlock's arms were around him, holding him, protecting him, making him forget. And god, did Alec want to forget.

He broke down in Magnus's arms, letting himself go for the first time in what felt like an eternity. He held on to Magnus with everything he had, thinking about just how close he'd gotten to losing him. How close he'd-

Alec let out a strangled sob.

"I thought you'd- I thought...If you closed the door- I- I don't know what I would've- Magnus, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I- I mean I know why but...I'm just so sorry. I've ruined everything, haven't I? I just- I didn't want to leave you, Magnus. I wanted- I wanted us to be together and-" 

"Ssh" whispered Magnus softly, running his palm over Alec's back in soothing circles, "You don't have to explain" 

Alec swallowed down a sob and let Magnus lead him to the apartment. He let Magnus hold him for what felt like an eternity before finally got himself together.

"Who did it?" asked Magnus softly.

"Raphael. I asked him to" Alec murmured into the cotton of Magnus's shirt. 

"And he agreed?" 

"I wouldn't take no for an answer" 

Magnus let out a low chuckle, and gently ran his fingers through Alec's hair, as he said, 

"You rarely do"

Alec felt himself smile unsteadily. It felt weird to smile, wrong and awkward somehow, but he managed.

The silence persisted, but it was calming one. Alec felt complete, being held in Magnus's arms. It felt like nothing had changed. It was just like he remembered and he loved every moment.

"I'm sorry" Alec whispered after awhile.

"Don't be. I'm not" replied Magnus. Alec raised his head and looked at him.

"You don't want the old Alec back?" he asked softly, clinging desperately to Magnus's words. 

"There's no old Alec. Just like there's no new Alec. There's just Alec, and I love him for being him. I don't see why this should change that" 

Alec stared at him. Magnus looked at him calmly , waiting for the words to sink in. 

Even the air seemed lighter suddenly, and all his thoughts vanished. So Alec said the one thing that was on his mind, 

"I love you" he whispered.

Magnus smiled, "Appropriate comeback" he replied, approvingly.

And then he kissed him and Alec felt whole once again.

________________________________________________________________________________

Isabelle glanced at the rune she'd scrawled over her arm briefly before looking up at Magnus's apartment. The rune improved her sight incredibly and she located it just in time to see Magnus kiss her brother in the quiet privacy of the apartment. 

She smiled as she saw the smile on Alec's face as they parted. She put on her jacket and turned away. 

If Magnus could make her brother smile after all that, maybe Alec hadn't made the wrong move after all.