Kissing Prince Charming

Life is full of adventures ♥

As I walk outside I think about the mess that started every single bit of this.

Sometimes in those moments when silence became unbearable and thoughts had a way of overtaking you, one memory, one boy, always wrestled his way to the surface of my thoughts.

It’s in this moment that the guilt, the pain, the undying inceratining of what happened three weeks ago hits me with full force.

If I didn’t venture into that closet would I be the same Gace I am now? I didn’t feel any different per say, but that didn’t mean I’m exactly the same either.

I no longer had the innocence that used to propel me forward. Now that I knew exactly what if felt like to have another person touch you and kiss you and be with you in a completely different way, I couldn’t go back to pretending it didn’t matter.

My mom used to spend night after night when I was younger telling me all the stories of my father. She told me how much they were in love and how right it felt to be next to him.

I used to fall asleep dreaming about how it felt to look at another person and know that your heart would forever be okay in their hands. Safe and sound as they say.

I believed in independence just as much as the next person. People didn’t need love or another person to get them through life, but when you did find someone, when you absolutely knew without a doubt that you had someone that would stick by you through every little thing, something in you was no longer whole.

Because if you gave someone half your heart, how can you ever just be you anymore?

Half of yourself was with someone else entirely. There was no way you could mold back into the person you were before everything thing changed.

I’m slowly changing.

I know this. It’s not the fact that I love the boy in the janitors closet, but more the fact that he showed me in a flash of such intense brightness what being in love could possibly feel like.

And even though I didn’t want to admit it, a little part of my heart when to that mystery boy. Maybe that is why I am trying so hard to find him.

I want to look at this prince of mine and find out if he deserves that piece of my heart.

Because if he didn’t, I would have to take it back.

I just didn’t know if it would fit back as perfectly as it did before.

Laughing, I wipe at the tears slowly falling down my face and gathering in my eyes. God, I am such a fool. Who gives a piece of their heat away with knowing the person?

A pathetic love sick idiot is who.

So what if this guy become my hope in finding love? Is that so bad? Is it wrong to want something as special and amazing as my parents once did? I shake my head, knowing the answers wouldn’t come to me overnight.

They never did.

I’m wiping the rest of the tears away when I hear a twig snap dangerously close by. I swirl around, expecting just another drunk teenager, but instead I find Den standing before me.

A light smile lights up his face I plaster on one for his benefit.

“Hey,” he whispers while rocking back on his heels. I blink a couple times, hoping the wetness gathered in my eyelashes aren’t a dead giveaway that I was just crying.

“Hey.” I say back when I draw a blank. He grins shyly before bringing his hand up and indicating my face.

“You don’t need to hide the fact you were crying. Everyone does.”