hospitality ❥ h.s

two

It was the loud sound of my alarm clock that woke me up that morning. I groaned the moment I heard it, then picked it up and threw it to the floor without a second thought moments after. Burying my head into my pillow, I tried to fall asleep again. But it was no use, I was already up and aware of my painful reality.

So I got ready for the new day; eating breakfast, brushing my teeth, getting dressed, the usual stuff. While doing that I decided that today would be the day I would finally begin and try to enjoy my life. The day I would gather up new confidence and kick ass everywhere I go.

But if only I could do that.

Shaking my head, I grabbed my wallet from my bedside table and stuffed it in my jacket pocket. Who am I kidding? I thought. I am nothing but a fucking stupid piece of shit who will never do anything good with his life.

I know I shouldn't think of myself this way, but I can't help it. When you come from a background similar to mine, you tend to see things the way I do. Things that absolutely no one in this city can see, for all I know.

The streets of Baltimore were once again busy as I step outside my apartment and walk around the city. People from all different races and countries walked past me. It's amazing knowing that every single person here has a different story to tell. Every stranger has their own lives that have nothing to do with yours. It's truly an astounding thought.

That was all I thought about as I walked through the boulevard. It also reminded me of what my mother told me that one day; I'll never forget that day, that's for certain.

Once I reached a newspaper stand, I purchased one with the loose change I had shoved in my jean pocket. And once I was holding the paper in my hand, I read the headline with caution. It's sad how no one reads newspapers anymore. It's all in the internet and cell phones now. I would have gotten one myself but I simply can't force myself to.

I walked while I read the paper, blocking everything in my sight as I held the gazette in front of my face. Eventually I found an empty bench in front of a drug store and without thinking about it I sat down on it, hopefully finding some peace and quiet there. Lucky for me, the bench was located where the crowd began to die down and disperse.

For about fifteen minutes, I read about how a woman from Texas murdered her own children by drowning them in a lake and how a middle-aged man was arrested for raping a fourteen year-old girl. What a sad world nowadays, I thought to myself. Truly horrible.

"Is this seat taken?" A voice questioned me, distracting me from reading any further on the depressing newspaper articles.

I looked up and found a girl, about the same age as me, pointing to the empty space beside me on the bench. I hesitated before answering her, not exactly sure of what to say. "Uhm, no."

I scooted over and gave her more space as she tried to sit down on the cold seat.

"Thank you," she said, delivering a warm smile. I smiled back, but it was forced. It was then when I realized that I hardly ever smiled anymore.

I noticed the girl was holding a beverage, probably coffee, and as she drank from it I felt my heart beating faster and harder against my chest. This was normal for me since I always got so nervous around girls, whether they talked to me or not.

"Lovely day, isn't it?" She asked, and I was almost completely sure her question was directed towards me. I nodded my head, trying to focus on the newspaper article but still communicating with her in some sort of way. "It's such a nice morning to sit on a cold park bench and make small talk with a stranger."

"Hmm," I hummed lightly, agreeing with her.

"So, what are you up to today?" She inquired, but I refused to answer. "I was thinking of going shopping, maybe getting a bite to eat at The Cheesecake Factory and then going home to sleep for the rest of the day."