Team Badass (A Naruto Fanfiction)

Chuunin Exams Stress People Out pt.2

"Hmm, this is most peculiar," Naruto was stroking his imaginary beard as he stared long and hard at the number inscribed onto the door of the academy. "Is this a..?"

"Genjutsu." Sakura confirmed. "It's a little too obvious. What, do they think we're idiots?"

Sasuke stopped walking, then pointed. "Looks like our competition isn't going to be all that rough. Look."

Gathered around in front of two menacing boys trying to bully the rest of the Genin, the other low ranked ninja struggled to turn in their applications, completely unaware of the illusion placed on the building. A girl and a boy stood out, obviously taking the blows and acting weak.

"So now what? Do we bust in and tell them to fuck off with their illusion, or do we act dumb and stupid?" Naruto tapped his chin as he turned to his friends thoughtfully.

"I say we stick with the traditional ways of shinobi..quiet, deceptive.." Sasuke's eyes gleamed. "Then again, we're not most shinobi."

"There's no way we can go to the third floor without getting the people who set this up to remove the illusion themselves anyway," Sakura cracked her knuckles.

Naruto cackled. "So, the normal, 'Team Badass' mode of entrance?"

His teammates smiled a predatory smile. "Let's get to it."

Shifting into a line, Team Badass each reached into their pouches with practiced ease, then hurled hundreds of tiny paintballs at the group of Genin.

Once everyone was distracted and the two bullies lost grip on their genjutsu, the team speedily made their way to the third floor, and turned in their forms.

Naruto laughed loud and clear. "Take that suckers!"

"That was indeed, a most impressive display." An unfamiliar voice rang out behind them.

Naruto Sasuke and Sakura turned around, curious. "Who're you?" Sasuke asked.

Clad head to toe in green, the shiny bowl-cut hairstyle glinted off the florescent lights. Dark bushy eyebrows twitched. But what blinded them most was his sparkling white teeth. "My name? I am Rock Lee! And I challenge you, Last Uchiha, for this lovely lady's hand."

The two boys face planted. "Who's the lovely lady in our team?" Naruto whispered to Sasuke.

"I dunno." Sasuke whispered back. "It's not Sa-"

A chill crawled up their spine. "You motherfuckers," Sakura forcibly choked out a hysterical laugh. With a hand, she grabbed hard onto their hair and pulled, earning a sharp cry from her male teammates.

This, "Rock Lee" watched her with rapt awe. "Oh, my sweet lovely lady. You are indeed the most beautiful woman I've ever met. Will you go out with me? I promise to protect you with my life!"

"Noo!" Naruto felt for the weird green kid. He wrestled out of Sakura's grip and rushed to the poor deluded boy's side. "Lee, right? Lemme give you a piece of advice. Sakura is not someone you want to go after."

"Why not? She's an absolute angel." Lee sent Sakura an air kiss. She avidly dodged, Sasuke coming free from her grasp.

Sasuke too bounded for Lee's side. He draped an arm around Lee's shoulders. "Lee, listen to me. Sakura doesn't need protection nor does she want any. Besides," He dropped to a conspiratory whisper. "You don't want to go after her. Listen to me and Naruto."

"I still want to fight you."

"Okay, okay. We can fight during the exams. But not now. Sakura's not in a good mood and when she isn't she's rather..uh..violent?"

"That just adds to her charm." Rock Lee shot Sasuke another sparkly smile. "But I shall heed your words. I will see you in the testing room then!"

Sasuke and Naruto couldn't answer, as in that moment, Sakura took her opportunity to drive her fist into their faces. Pummeling them into a nearby -and unfortunate- wall, she eventually peeled them off the wood and dragged them across the floor by the scruff of their clothes.

She smiled a sweet delicate smile to Lee. "Lee-san? Thank you. I'll think about it, okay? Let's do our best in this exam!"

Lee flushed a brilliant red. This girl was absolutely beautiful. "Yes, my dear Sakura-san!"

When they entered the testing room, many paint splattered Genin were blowing off steam by beating the daylights out of each other. Sakura blinked at the mayhem. "Look, Naruto, Sasuke. The idiots are decreasing competition for us. How convenient."

"Ugh," Sasuke picked himself off the floor and dusted his clothes. "I think some of my teeth are loose."

Naruto spotted their fellow rookies off to the corner and pointed, jumping to his feet. "Look! It's Shikamaru and the others. They're all here."

"Too bad he's smart enough to keep his team out of the fray," Sasuke commented apathetically. "It would've been nice if he was down this early in the game."

"Ooh, nervous, Sasuke? What happened to the Uchiha genius?" Naruto taunted.

Sasuke shrugged. "Just stating the truth. Besides, you and Sakura are just as good as I am."

"Hmm. I wonder when they're gonna stop fighting?" Sakura walked around the bustle and sat in a corner. Naruto and Sasuke followed after.

"It's better if they don't stop." Naruto remarked.

"But won't that make things a little too easy?" Sasuke pulled out a kunai and twirled it expertly. "I want some intense battle."

Then smoke erupted in the room, throwing everyone onto their feet, tensed for any possibility. "You idiots! No intense battle in this room! Or you're all disqualified!"

Sakura giggled. "Hear that? Sounds like you won't be getting your 'intense battle' anytime soon."

"Aww." Sasuke put his kunai away. "Now what?"

Morino Ibiki, the man who had just burst into the room with a whole load of other proctors, suddenly faced their corner and pinned the three with the most frightening glare they ever saw. "You little brats. Don't think I don't know about you three." His dangerous aura made them shiver.

"Crap. He knows." Sasuke breathed. "He knows it was us with the paintballs."

"He's just pissed because his crew has to clean up the mess." Naruto scoffed. "We're not going down, no matter what this guy throws at us!"

"Shut up! He's still looking at us!" Sakura hissed. "Let's go find a seat." They got up and without flinching, sat down at some empty seats.

Ibiki raised a brow. So they were Kakashi's prized brats. Hmph. Didn't look like much. Especially the blonde..that was the Kyuubi Jinchuurki, if his memory was correct. And the last Uchiha..

Well then. Let's see how different they are compared with the rest. After all, his test was always the hardest.