#GetHelp

from amy.

before i begin, let me say this. you are free to hate me all you want. i understand. i'm sorry.

there is a very important notice in this, so please keep reading.

it's very obvious that i haven't been active, and there's a reason why.

this account used to be run by three people, and that way, all of us could get things done. for the past half a year, it hasn't been that way. it's just been naya. hi.

i work this account on my own. well, i used to. as you can tell, i haven't been active, and i can't bring myself to even try and respond to those i've been too late to come to, because of the guilt.

i'm a student. yes, i'm still a student. In fact, i'm a fairly young student as well. my life has been a frenzy, and i can't seem to grasp how i can help others if i can't even help myself.

i thought i could ask other friends in real life for help, and they told me they couldn't because of certain reasons. so, here i am.

there are many people who have lost faith in me, and i completely understand, and if i were you, i'd do the same. i tried to catch up with messages. in the beginning, it was the easiest, because no one came for help. now that i have pms in my inbox that i can't even count, i'm overwhelmed.

i've let down those who still had faith in me through all this, and i've let down tahlie, the author who was generous to let me start this account. i'm so sorry for that. perhaps you will find it in your hearts to forgive me.

if this account were run by a robot, things would get done more efficiently. unfortunately, i'm still a person.

now, i've been thinking for days about this decision, and i was unsure if i should even put it in action or make it public at all. i don't know what reaction i may receive from this, but, here we go.

amy is going on an indefinite hiatus.

this account was created in july of 2017, and i remember when i created it. i did not have high expectations. i didn't realize it would get this big, which was my fault.

i remember a youtuber i used to watch who shut down his account because he said he couldn't handle being huge on the internet, and i also remember thinking,

"that doesn't make sense. how do you feel pressure from a number in your follower count?"

i look at this account and i realize that i know how he felt.

people come to me for all kinds of things. depression, death, friendship, drama, family, you name it. it's hard to talk to people with this kind of stuff, for me personally.

i can never relate, because growing up, i had a loving family who taught me how to love others, and i had "depression", or so i called it, when i was younger, but it only lasted for a little bit. it's hard to try and talk to others who struggle when you don't know how.

it's hard to talk to people when you know there's so much more people you have to also talk to.

i'm a conversation kind of person, where i don't just send a message and i'm done. i usually take time on my messages, which is why it was so hard for me to manage this account by myself.

if i had the power to run it alone, i'd do it. i just can't.

i am not defending myself, i'm just saying the truth. many people will be mad at me for saying this, and i'll apologize over and over again.

the bottom line is, this account will be on hiatus.

and that's the end.

i can't put in words my emotions. i'm so, so sorry to those i've let down. thank you for giving me joy while i gave hope to others.

It was a pleasure being with you for the times we've been together! I hope that one day, we'll meet again. Until then!

- Amy.