Three Wishes

Boom Goes the First Wish

The Scout Law is as follows:

A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.

Now let me tell you how I was barely any of those things.

Trustworthy - Lying about my sexuality because I needed to.

Loyal - Cross me and I'll turn the world against you.

Helpful - If I know it benefits me, otherwise I pass you along to the next person. To be honest, though I do like helping people so that was a slight exaggeration.

Friendly - Definitely not friendly at first. #RestingBitchFace <- Working on it still

Courteous - I'm a proper bitch with a sailor's tongue.

Kind - To make by.

Obedient - I'll break rules as I see fit.

Cheerful - Bright on the outside, dead on the inside.

Thrifty - I have boujee taste.

Brave - Not enough to come out.

Clean - Body not mind.

Reverent - Fun fact: I was trying out being Wiccan at the time but have thus resolved to just sticking to being Agnostic.

I was a bad Scout playing the game to get to the rank of Eagle. Statistically speaking, only 4% of all Scouts reach that rank and I'll be damned if I didn't reach the rank. When this was all going down there was no law securing gay scouts so there were three things that could happen to you if you were outed:

1. It's all peaches and roses. You're accepted and you continue living like it's whatever.

2. You're tolerated but since the Boy Scouts is a pretty religious group to navigate around they could (unjustly) prevent your ascension to higher ranks for "reasons" that will never be stated.

3. You're completely kicked out of Scouts and all of your work will be to waste.

So now obviously I wanted option one to happen but since I couldn't risk it I would not officially come out till a couple years later.

The reason I've been going into so much detail is that I had decided to make a fatal wish on my 14th birthday in 2010: I want to like someone.

Yup, my dumbass-self thought I was ready to start liking someone so I officially opened the floodgates of my inner repressed emotions on the first victim in sight. For the sake of privacy I will use a different name...let's see...I'll call him Greg.

Greg, was actually one of the two brothers I mentioned in the previous update. He WAS everything I wanted to be and I did find him attractive with his X colored eyes and his Y colored hair. Yup, I am being serious about the confidentiality thing.

One thing I can disclose was that he was very well toned and being that he was a year older than me didn't help my afflicting affection towards him. Within weeks, I was fussing over him at home and scribbling our names in the journal that I wrote into religiously.