I have been working on an act for the show itself for the past (okay, five) days. For tryouts, I'll probably just tell jokes.
But you know what that means right?
Yup, I've been practicing and today is the day. I could barely sit still (but I did anyway). I actually couldn't wait for lunch to begin.
I wonder though. Katherine said she'd be there to cheer me on. I hope so because confidence is the key.
The key to life, basically.
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For tryouts, I went last.
Not like any best for last or worst is first sort of thing. Nope, not at all.
Its because I wanted to be the only comedian. If some other comedian was before me, I probably would've bailed out and left.
Anyway, there was a girl (I think her name was Claire) who sang. A guy was playing guitar. Two guys did the most spectacular piano duo. Lastly there was a girl who could juggle six of anything. Oranges, bowling pins, rubber ducks, napkins, chairs (they weren't heavy chairs), you name it. I was last.
Katherine was cheering me on. I was as nervous as I usually was. I took a deep breath.
"Hello, what's your name?" Judge #1 asked.
"Stewart Pid. But all my friends call me Stew Pid. Wait a sec..." I answered.
"And we can probably guess what you're doing." Judge #2 said.
"How'd you know I'd be dancing the Chicken Dance?" I asked.
"That's it?" Judge #3 asked skeptically.
"I have a routine for the show. But for now, small stuff." I said. I took another deep breath.
"Proceed." Judge #1 said. Sweat beaded down on my forehead. I looked and Katherine gave me a thumbs-up. I was ready.
"You know a ten-letter word that starts with gas? A-U-T-O-M-O-B-I-L-E." No one laughed. Time to pull out the big guns.
"You know what happened to the wooden car with the wooden engine and wooden wheels? It wooden go." Judge #1 chuckled.
"Bikes are so lazy sometimes," I continued, "they won't even stand up. And what's their excuse? Oh, they're two tired." Judge 2 smied. Judge 3 arched an eyebrow. Judge 1 continued to chuckle.
"All right. I'm warmed up. Let the fun begin." I said. I cracked my knuckles.
"So there's a doctor and he's takinbg his daughter to kindergarden. On the way, the daughter ass him if she could use his stethoscope. He gladly agrees and hands her his stethoscope. The man is thinking: This is great! She might want to follow in my footsteps and become a doctor herself as well! Then, the girl takes the stethoscope, puts it in her ears, and begins to talk into it:
'This is McDonalds. May I take your order?'" All except Judge #3 laughed hysterically.
"Judge #3, what's your name?" I needed him to seal the deal.
"My name is Maximilliano Percival J. Worthington. The third."
"All right then MPJW3, what would you like to hear about?" I taunted.
"Old ladies and driving." he said.
"Alright seems like two very hard topics to put together. But I've got just the thing." I said.
"Make me laugh." Maximilliano Percival J. Worthington (the third) said.
"So there's an old lady on the freeway," I started, "She is driving ten miles an hour. A passing police man pulls her over and asks her why she is going only ten miles an hour. She answers that it's the speed limit, pointing to a sign with the number ten on it. The policeman chuckles and explains that the sign she's pointing at is the interstate sign. She laughs as well at her mistake then says this:
'Good thing you didn't pull me over on interstate 101!'" And it worked. Judge #3 burst out laughing. I took a bow and them Judge #1 stood up.
"Now, James. You are hilarious. See you April 18th." he said.
"Yes!" I say with joy. Katherine ran up the big clock tower steps and gave me a big hug.
And I felt like I was on top of the world.
VOCÊ ESTÁ LENDO
Maybe It'll Never Happen
Ficção AdolescenteJames Ignis has the worst luck in the world. His parents died when he was only four years old and he's been living with his single aunt who has to take 3 jobs to maintain his exsistence. He has been depressed his whole life. He has barely, if any, f...