Breathe || Max X Reader - Camp Camp

Ⅳ

TW: A panic attack is both depicted and discussed. It is slightly dramatized to progress the plot. [Safety Spoiler] The scene is during Max's POV in the mess hall. He recalls his mother and goes into a panic attack. He faints and hits the floor. You and David discuss it because you were witness to it and in order to find ways to help Max.
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Y/N's POV
Word Count: 1,827

     Do I like Max? I've never approached the question, mainly because I was afraid of the answer. How immoral was it to develop a crush on a boy you've only known for hours? It's not real. It'll go away in a week, there's just no way I like him. "I don't really know.", I whispered. Neil smirked.
     Nikki let out a little chuckle as she drew smiley faces in the dirt with her fingers. For the record, they were well drawn. "Y/N, I think you know the truth.", Neil pressed. "If you're afraid I'll tell him, I won't. I'd rather see him go crazy trying to figure it out as opposed to telling him. Honest."
     Personally, I didn't think Neil was a liar. I could've been wrong, but I felt like he was a trustable person. But still, what do I say? I really wasn't sure, but I was tilting towards a 'yes'. As much as I hated it, I throbbed for an absolute donkey. "I think, maybe, I might like him. D-Don't tell him.", I begged. "There's no way he likes me. No way. He doesn't even seem to like himself."
     Neil nodded at that. Nikki had stopped joining in on the conversation, as she remained busy with her own things. "Okay, that's right. He's troubled.", Neil advised.
     "And how so?"
     "Why don't you ask him?", Neil countered. "Actually, maybe you shouldn't do that. Look, Y/N, Max is dealing with a lot of heavy shit. He has trouble coming to terms with his emotions, but maybe this is good. Maybe you can help him."
     I really didn't know what this all had meant. What's wrong with him? I knew he was hiding things from the beginning, but I didn't suspect this situation.

Max's POV

     What a day. What a fucking day. I tucked myself into bed. Beside me was my only real friend, my teddy. Damn, I'm such a pussy. A teddy bear. Jesus Christ. I shut off the small lamp that lit up my tent and shut my eyes.

     A few hours into the night, I woke up again. I couldn't sleep for the life of me. It didn't help that tomorrow was supposed to be the summer's first activity, which you'd normally need lots of rest for. The thing is, I just couldn't keep that little shit out of my thoughts. She just kept crawling in.
     I just felt like we clicked. Something sparked, and I couldn't figure out what. Maybe I was just fascinated that she cared, because I didn't meet people like that often. I genuinely believe society has lost their hope, their happiness, everything. But Y/N, she brought something back. She was special.
Now, let me get something straight with myself, I'm not interested in her. I'm interested in why that little shit is investing her precious time into actually enjoying this dump. Meeting someone with spirit, other than David, wasn't common.
     But unlike David, Y/N didn't really annoy me. Instead, she interested me. I couldn't get rid of that girl. I didn't know why. She was just so off. Maybe instead of whining like a bitch about it, you can go to sleep and worry when you wake up.
     For the second time that night, I shut off my light and pulled my teddy into bed with me.

     Ah! I balled my fists and slammed my alarm clock, as per usual. You're fucking kidding me. Six o'clock in the morning, already? How much sleep did I get? I shook my head and slipped on my hoodie. I quickly drenched my face in a little bit of water and scrubbed, a daily ritual. It wasn't really washing my face, but it made me feel like I wasn't a pig and woke me up.
     I raised my mattress and stuffed my bear underneath it. Should I still need this? I hated that question, though I asked myself about it every single day. I skipped everything else and just started walking to the mess hall. I didn't plan on eating breakfast, but I was pretty hungry.
     The mess hall was pretty dead. I seen Dolph, Nikki, and Neil. Y/N was nowhere to be found. David, luckily, was still getting ready. I went ahead and sat by Neil. "Holy shit, Max!", Neil shrieked. What now? What is it? My hair? My face? Why can't people just give me a break? Why does everybody make it their business to ruin my day? "Are you okay? You look dead!" Yeah, there it was. I shot Neil an annoyed glare. In all honesty, it kind of hurt my feelings when people did that to me. See, I know I look like a horse's ass, but why'd you have to point it out? "No, I mean, what kept you up last night?"
     My eyes widened. I didn't know what to do. "Screw you, Neil! You don't even know me! You're pulling this from your-"
     "No," Neil interrupted. I balled my fists and punched the table. How does he know this about me? And what does he want to do? Call me out? Neil's my friend I guess, but I don't trust him. "I only heard you because I couldn't sleep either. I want to help you." Lies. "What's bothering you, Max?"
     Who was Neil to force me to talk about my feelings? He wasn't my mom. My mom. I curled my toes and bit my lip. I started breathing really fast, I quickly lost control over it. It was like my body was taking me hostage. I hated this. There come the black dots. To gain my balance, I had to stand and press my sweaty palms against the table while focusing on a single object. My mom. I stared at the first thing in front of me. Through all this chaos, I never once thought that Y/N would've been sitting right in front of me. Oh no.

Y/N's POV

     I was shaking. I was so scared for this boy who I didn't even know. I knew what happened. He had an anxiety attack. It had to have been an anxiety attack, it was the only thing that made sense. Something triggered it.
     "Y/N, are you okay?", David asked once again. "Max is okay, but we need to understand what happened to him. I need you to tell me what took place in the mess hall."
     I didn't say a word. I was too stunned to think straight. David bent down to grab a big cardboard box towards the back of the room. It had a piece of duct tape on it that read 'Fidgets'. I remembered how my school counselor would help me open up by giving me something to occupy my hands, that way my mind could focus. David did the same for me. He grabbed a small frog and handed it to me. It was filled with some sort of corn syrup, and was stretchy.
     I played with it in my hands. "Y/N, you know you can talk to me. By law, unless you tell me that Max is in danger, I am not allowed to share what you tell me unless you give me permission to first. Let me be your friend.", David pleaded. I wanted to talk to him, but I was afraid. I trusted David, but what if I messed up? I didn't know how I could possibly mess up, but I was afraid to find out. "How about I ask you something easy. Did you see the entire episode?" I shook my head. "Okay, so what happened when you went into the mess hall?"
     I stared at the frog while desperately trying to ignore David. I tried to act like it was just the frog and I. "Max was having an anxiety attack and I'm sure. He was having trouble breathing. Max struggles to keep his balance, he was very, um...he was having trouble. He kept trying to grab things, the room must've been spinning for him. He had an anxiety attack. I didn't expect him to hit the floor, though.", I explained. "I hope he's okay. I just want him to be okay."
     David lightly grabbed my arm. I assumed David had been feeling for a pulse or something. "You're shaking," David remarked. "I need you to keep your composure. It's going to be okay. Can I ask you a few more questions so that we can help Max?" I nodded. "Okay. You can be as slow as you want. Take your time, Y/N." I swallowed hard. A small tear fell down my face. I began feeling that tightness in my throat again. "How do you know that Max had an anxiety attack?"
     I can't explain why, but I grabbed David's hand. Maybe I did it because at my middle school, if I needed extra strength to speak out about something, my counselor told me to grab her hand. She said that her hand could be like a hand of God. Though I never acknowledged the spiritual bit, I seen the hand as symbolic show of strength. So, I squeezed David's hand, and for once, instead of the frog, I looked to David.
     I stared him dead in the eyes. His nose was red. His entire face was red. He was on the verge of tears. "I've had a panic attack before," I admitted. "I beat my anxiety. Mostly, anyway. I-I haven't seen one of those in years. I thought..." A pause. "It was over."
     "What was over, Y/N?", David asked. As if I wasn't afraid enough, he switched from his happy-go-lucky counselor voice to a monotone, serious voice. This was a big deal. And I realized: Max was a big deal. To me. "The panic attacks. I thought I'd never have to see one, or live one, ever again."
     David nodded. "I'm very sorry.", David attempted. "I-I will do what I can to help both you and Max. Is there anything else I need to know?"
     I had two options. I could tell David that Neil claimed Max is hiding more about his background, risking the possibility that Max will hold a grudge against me for sharing his private life, or do the easy thing and stay quiet. But if I stay quiet, how long can we go until this really blows up in Max's face? And what will the blow up be? "David?", I whispered. "Can I ask you something?"