You're What?

Director Pirate Man

For those of you reading my 'Growing Up' books (either 1 or 2), this will be very similar to one of those chapters.

Peter really didn't want to stay at home with Rhodey. Tony wasn't sure why because the kid loved Uncle Rhodey. Fairly often, he would go on and on about how he wanted more Uncle Rhodey's so when one got tired or had to go to work, he would still have more. That being said, today he was on the verge of throwing a tantrum because he had to stay with Rhodey.

Maybe he was getting sick. He tended to get clingy when he was sick, but JARVIS told him that Peter wasn't sick, so Tony was back at square one: a near-to-tears five year old hanging on his knee, begging to go with him.

"Sir, Director Fury has asked me to tell you if you aren't at SHIELD in the next 30 minutes, he will personally make sure you don't go on any missions for seven months," JARVIS said from above them.

He'd run out of time, apparently, which meant that Peter was about to get his way.

"Alright," Tony said, scooping Peter up into his arms. "You get to come so Daddy can go on missions."

Peter cheered as Tony grabbed his wallet and phone then hurried into the elevator.

Luckily, getting Peter into the car was easier than usual and they arrived at SHIELD in twenty-four minutes. Tony had barely parked the car before he pulled Peter out and the two went running inside.

"Daddy, where are we?" Peter asked, sprinting to keep up beside him.

When Tony looked down to answer, he sighed. Peter was barefoot and shirtless. In his haste, they had forgotten to get Peter dressed.

"We're at my second job," Tony said, picking Peter up and pushing his way into an lift.

"You're pushing your luck," Maria commented as Tony jumped into the lift. She raised an eyebrow at Peter who was staring in awe out of the lift and Tony was suddenly struck with a brilliant idea.

"Maria! Fantastic!" Tony exclaimed, checking his watch briefly.

He had three minutes to get to his meeting but with a little luck, he wouldn't be going in with a shirtless kid.

"Peter, meet Maria. Maria, this is Peter," Tony said, turning Peter to face Maria.

"Hi, Miss Maria!" Peter said, grinning and showing her a missing tooth.

Maria smiled back but was still looking at Tony warily.

"I have to get to a meeting, but Miss Maria is going to find you a shirt, some shoes, and make sure you don't get bored," Tony said, handing Peter to Maria as he spoke.

She hesitantly took the small five year old as the lift doors opened and Tony sprint out.

"Stark, I have to be at the meeting too!" Maria called after him. Unfortunately, he was already around the corner and out of sight and she was holding a shirtless kid. "Alright," she murmured, looking down at Peter. "Let's go find you a shirt."

Together they went down to the daycare center where Maria asked to see the lost and found. Fortunately for Peter, the had a shirt in that fit Peter perfectly, but they didn't have any shoes.

"It's okay, Miss Maria," Peter chirped, grabbing her hand as they walked out of the day care. "I like being barefoot anyway."

"Good," Maria replied as they stepped into the lift.

She had briefly considered leaving Peter at the day care, but she had the feeling Stark wouldn't appreciate that. Besides, she had every intention of letting Peter run into the meeting and leaving Stark to deal with it.

"Are you a superhero like Daddy?" Peter asked as they went back up to the meeting room.

Maria shook her head.

"Then why are you dressed like that?"

"I'm a secret agent," she told him with a small smile. He was five. He wouldn't tell anyone and if he did, they probably wouldn't believe him.

"Whoa!" Peter whispered with wide eyes.

Maria's smile widened as she led him down the hall to the meeting. It had been twenty minutes since it had started, but if Stark's kid interrupted it, she wouldn't be to blame.

"Alright, go find your dad," Maria said, pulling on the door.

Before the door was fully opened, Peter ran inside. As soon as he saw Tony, he grinned and raced over to him.

Director Fury stopped what he was saying and look up to see a small kid bouncing beside Tony.

"Sorry, sir. Stark left me with his kid," Maria explained as she took her seat.

Further down the table, Tony glared at her as he set Peter on his lap.

"Stark has a kid?" Fury asked, looking to Tony for a better explanation. "Natasha failed to put that in her report."

"Yeah," Tony said, stealing a pen from Fury and letting Peter draw on the file he'd been handed. "That's because she knows when agencies shouldn't know about secret kids."

Fury pursed his lips and looked like he was about to respond, but Peter turned around in Tony's lap and gasped.

"Are you a pirate?"

Fury tilted his head, giving Peter a curious look.

Turning back to Tony, Peter said, "I thought pirates were fake."

"I'm not a pirate," Fury told him. Peter's nose scrunched. "I'm a secret agent."

Peter's eyes widened and he whipped around to look at Marie as Fury added, "A secret agent that doesn't allow kids in his office."

Fury gave Tony a look, but Peter was the one to interrupt again.

"You're like Miss Maria!"  Peter exclaimed in awe. Fury looked back at Peter then at Maria. "Are you the boss of my Daddy?"

"Yes, I am," Fury nodded, giving Tony a look to let him know he'd be thoroughly yelled at later.

"Do you know Captain America?" Peter asked.

Fury nodded and Peter gasped.

"I'm the boss of Captain America, too," Fury said.

Peter looked on the verge of exploding with excitement.

"That's so cool!" he squealed. "Are you the boss of all the Avengers? Even Auntie Tasha?"

"Well, Auntie Tasha—" He hesitated, clearly uncomfortable referring to Natasha as 'Auntie Tasha'. "—is kind of a free spirit, but yes, I am her boss too."

"You must be a super superhero if you're the boss of the Avengers," Peter decided.

At that, Fury nodded with a smile.

"I guess so," he agreed. He glanced between Tony and Maria then back to Peter as he said, "Now, how about you go with Miss Maria and play on my hologram while your Daddy and I talk."

"Okay!" Peter said happily, jumping off Tony's lap.

Maria stood up as well and reached for Peter's hand to lead him over to the hologram. Too enthralled with his game of Galaga, Peter didn't even notice Fury berating Tony for bringing his kid in.