Amnesia [MARICHAT]

29

   Marinette didn't go to school the next day. She never got out of bed except to go to the bathroom. She didn't eat. The only thing she did was sleep and cry, and repeat.

   Her parents were concerned. They had no idea what was wrong with her. At first they had been afraid that she lost her memory again. The only words she had spoken since Chat left was that she hadn't retained her amnesia, but that she was just going through...things and she didn't wanna talk about it. She just wanted to sleep in, she wasn't feeling well, and she didn't wanna go anywhere or do anything.

   Marinette felt overwhelmed despite the fact that all she had done was sleep. Alya tried to call her, she had called her a dozen times, but Marinette hadn't picked up once. She felt like her tears were endless. Like they would never stop, and she wondered if the pain would ever go away.

   The only other thing she could think about was that the akuma hadn't shown up even though Chat wasn't with her. She wondered if it was even still there – because Hawkmoth had never kept an akuma for longer than twelve hours. She didn't know if he could, or his limit.

   Marinette hardly let herself think about Chat Noir, about how he was feeling. She knew he would be hurt, but she didn't know how much. She had no idea if he didn't go to school today either. She had no idea if he was thinking about her, or if he was trying to forget her. If she were in his place she didn't know what she would do. Maybe the same thing she was doing now except for a different reason.

   Marinette wanted to die.

   She didn't understand why she was still alive. How she could be alive. Her heart beat for Chat Noir. She felt like it would cease to move if he wasn't there.

   But her heart was still beating, and she hated it with everything she was.

   She didn't think she could ever hate Chat. She loathed what she had done, the decisions she had made.

   Marinette's heart ache was so much worse than when she thought she just couldn't love him. It was so much worse than she had ever felt before, and she realized that the way he reacted had destroyed her. All she wanted to do was tell him that she was sorry, she had never been more sorry about anything, and she wanted him back. She wanted to talk to him, she wanted to hold him, she wanted to kiss him and tell him that she loved him and that she was sorry - she was so, so sorry, she would never do it again – but those were empty words to him, even if they meant so much to her. They were empty to him because she had done it anyway even with all the time she had to tell him that she was Ladybug and she didn't.

   Marinette hated herself and she pondered if that was the only thing that would ever come of this.

   Was this what love was like? She would just end up with a broken heart? She knew – she knew it wouldn't work but she tried it anyway and look what happened. She's broken, brittle, fragile, shattered into a billion tiny pieces because she's nothing without Chat. He completed her. No, she had already been a whole, but he enhanced her – he made her glow. He made her a better version of herself, and most of all he made her happy. And she wasn't happy anymore, because he wasn't with her.

   She heard something on the steps to her room and her trap door opened to reveal her mother. "Honey, are you doing okay?" Her mother asked.

   Marinette shifted out from underneath her comforter. "Yes I'm fine, I'm just tired."

   "Do you want anything to eat?"

   "No, thank you."

   "All right, sweetie. I'll check on you again in an hour, okay?" Her mother said, her eyes shimmering in sympathy. She looked sad - as if she felt pity for Marinette, but Marinette knew that wasn't the case. Her mother was just sad that her daughter was feeling this way, even if she knew nothing about the reason.

   "Ok." Marinette said.

   She dove back down under her covers and took a deep breath. It had to be late afternoon, that's what the light from her window said anyway. She knew her parents were worried but she didn't want to do anything about it.

   Marinette debated calling Alya back, but but she wasn't sure what to tell her. She couldn't exactly say, "Hey, I was dating Chat Noir but then he figured out I was Ladybug and he doesn't like me anymore." Yeah, she was sure that would give Alya heart attack. She didn't want her friend to die young.

   Could Marinette even get herself up to go to school tomorrow? She wasn't sure. She felt like a balloon was expanding inside her skull and she couldn't think straight. She was dizzy with emotional pain, and she wasn't sure if it would dull enough to let her go tomorrow.

   She sat up, and slid off her bed and steps down the ladder onto her bedroom floor. She looked at Tikki who was sleeping in her purse, not visible unless you looked directly at her. She knew Tikki was worried about Marinette, but Marinette couldn't bring herself to care very much.

   Her gaze flew to her closet, and she took a few steps forward hesitantly, not sure what she was doing at first. But then she opened the doors, and she saw the Chat Noir jacket she had sewed when she first realized she was in love with him.

   She had never worn it, she realized. She had never truly shown her love for the heroine of Paris. But she loved him, and for some reason she yearned to wear the jacket, to show him from wherever he was watching, that she was sorry. Without words that she loved him and she would never stop loving him.

   He went to her school, she remembered. If she wore it when she went back, he would definitely see it, unless he wasn't there. She thought again back to whether not he was as emotionally stable she was, but he loved her. She knew he couldn't be okay. He was probably wrecked inside just like she was.

   Marinette grabbed the sleeve with her hand, felt the fabric with her fingers.

   Yes, she had to be strong. Because she wasn't gonna let him go. She wouldn't cry and feel pity for herself forever. Tomorrow, she would go to school. And she would wear that jacket. And she would find a way to get to Chat and tell him why she did what she did. 

   Marinette would be strong. 

   She had to be.

Guys, I'm sorry this is a few hours late. But you know me - I suck at responsibilities. 

How are you? How have you been?

I've been tagged by like seven people now. I don't tend to bother with those things, so in return, I'll just tell you all seven things about me and that's it.

1. I don't have a life.

2. My goal as of now is to go to college, get a bachelor's degree in English, and work my way up to being an editor in a popular publishing company.

3. This number bothers me for some reason.

4. I can't fall asleep unless I'm listening to music.

5. I write fanfiction in my head when I go to sleep.

6. I want to stumble into some guy's arms and be like "you're the one" and scare him half to death.

7. If the guy answers something along the lines of "that's me" then he's actually the one. Then I'm gonna marry him. 

Well that's that.

Have a nice day.

Don't drink and drive, don't do drugs, don't kiss your best friend unless you know they like you back because otherwise its gonna get real awkward.

Also I think this chapter sucked but that's my opinion.