Unsteady | Sterek

Twenty Four: Renegades, renegades

There isn't any air left in the world, Stiles thinks, which is shit cause now is a really vital time to be conscious and he can't do that if he can't breathe. To be fair, he's just been offered his mother back.

"Claudia Stilinski is dead," Derek says bluntly.

Stiles flails his hand a little. "No shit, sourwolf, really? They'll use magic, dumbo. They'll use the ley lines."

Magana smiles at him and its all writhing darkness and a sick satisfaction. Stiles can feel the pure evil radiating the three women in front of him and really, really, wants to take a shower. "It will be pure magic," she promises. "Earth magic. She will be healthy, live her life as she should have. The sickness will be gone. She will remember everything. She will be your mother again."

And it's so, so tempting to give in, to say yes, because Stiles has wanted his mother back since the day they'd found out she was sick. Not just for him, but for his Dad, who'd been left to deal with Stiles on his own; the Sherriff who'd died a little bit every day after they'd lowered his wife into the ground. Yes, Stiles thinks, he wants his mother back for his dad, because his dad deserves so much more than what he's got. His dad deserves to be happy too.

"No tricks?" His voice wavers, just a little bit.

"No tricks."

"Stiles," Scott says and he sounds so close to tears that Stiles jerks around to face him. His best friend's eyes are watery, his cheeks flushed and his mouth a small, upset line. "You can't. She's gone. You can't give them Beacon Hills for a dead person."

"Why?" Stiles asks bitterly, "You left me for a dead girl."

Even the crackling smugness around the witches go silent. Scott stills, crooked jaw slackening. "I didn't-"

"You didn't mean it," Stiles finishes because yes, he loves Scott dearly, but he knows how this goes. Scott never means anything, never means to hurt people, but it happens and there's never an apology afterwards. Scott McCall is oblivious, Stiles understands that, but there's a line. Stiles thinks its about time that someone calls him out on it. "Scott, you cannot stand here and tell me that you wouldn't consider this if it meant bringing Allison back, no strings attached. You know you would."

"I wouldn't," Scott says and Derek's face is surprised enough that Stiles believes him. "I wouldn't consider it, Stiles, because how would I explain it? What about Chris? I miss her with my every breath, Stiles, but she's gone."

"But what if she could come back?"

"And be scared of you?"

Stiels feels the ground shift beneath his feet as he reels back, something horrible twisting in his stomach. "I-" There's nothing for him to grab onto, nothing for him to breathe in. He's losing himself, floating in this grey area as he hears the Nogitsune in his head, feels the blade in his hands.

"Stiles, I know you miss your mum," Scott says and Stiles flinches away from him because Scott is oblivious, yes, but Scott has never been cruel. Not until today. "I know you do. I know your dad misses her. I miss her, but we're doing okay without her. You're dad isn't drinking like he used to, we're okay. We're functioning without her. There's no place for her in this life anymore."

And wow, when did Scott get so wise? Stiles hates him, hates that he's right.

"Fine," he surrenders, turning back to Magana. "Well, you heard it here folks. No can do." How he can manage to sound so steady is a mystery to him. His insides are tearing themselves apart and his brain is fuzzy and blurry images of his mother are branding themselves into his head and he really wants to sleep. "So, we're back to my offer."

Kilane eyes him. "No," she decides and the werewolves behind Stiles growls. "Nothing is stopping us from using you to get to the ley lines by force."

"You just let your fighter get locked up for murder," Stiles says.

"We don't need a werewolf," Ryndra says dismissively. "We have magic."

And oh shit, Stiles really needs to start learning things from Deaton because all he has right now is a small pouch of Faebane. He doubts it'll hold the three off for very long.

"You know what I think?" He says before he really thinks about what he's doing. "I think that it's a good thing I told Chris to bring some fancy Faebane bullets because even you cant heal from a head shot."

He jumps backwards just in time for the small clearing to explode into bright flashes, snarling werewolves, and the distinct sounds of gunfire. Stiles wants nothing more than to throw himself into the fray but the ground is still unsteady beneath his feet and he can't quite get enough air.

***

When Claudia Stilinski first forgets who her son is, Stiles cries for nearly a whole day and won't come out of his room.

His dad ends up having to call Melissa and Scott over, just to get the door to the boy's bedroom open. Stiles, young and slightly chubby, stares out at them with red cheeks and puffy eyes before grabbing Scott and dragging him in the room, slamming the door.

Through the wood, John can hear Stiles tell Scott between sobs that his mother isn't going to be proud of him for being strong if she doesn't remember who he is. Scott makes small coos of comfort and when Melissa goes in nearly two hours later, the two boys are curled around each other.

A few weeks later, John has to pry a kitchen knife from his wife's hand as she shrieks at a terrified Stiles. The young boy has a cut on one arm, his gold eyes brown with fear and hurt. He's crying, but his hiccupping sobs are silent. Instead, small please of 'Mummy' are tumbling out of his mouth.

John leads his wife upstairs to their bed and makes up a story about babysitting a suspect's son. He isn't sure she believes him, but she goes to sleep so he's free to go back to Stiles.

The little boy is curled I the corner, glazed eyes staring into nothing as he mumbles nonsense to himself. John helps him the kitchen table and dresses his wound carefully. He's about to carry him to bed when the child asks in a wobbly voice, "Is Mummy gonna kill me?"

"No, Stiles," John breathes and he hates that he can't tell if he's lying.

When Claudia dies in the hospital, months later, Stiles despises the small part of him that's relieved its over.