Harry Potter One Shots

The Risks of Choice

All rights belong to the author, Jaely

Remus swept into his room swatting the door to close it as he entered. His room was simple and while some might consider it sparse, to him it seemed an economical use of space. The room was not very large and the possibility that he may have to leave in a hurry had always given him a logical reason never to get too comfortable in any one location. It was the way of things in Remus Lupin's life, and had been ever since the deaths and subsequent incarceration of all of his close friends and only real tie he had to one place.

Remus placed his hands on the surface of his desk, letting his head fall forward. His eyes inevitably landing on the unavoidable reminder of why his life was the way it is. Why he had no choice but to hurt the one person he treasured more than anything.

"We weren't finished with our conversation, Remus."

Remus closed his eyes at the sound of her voice. He knew she was there. "I don't believe there is anything more to discuss," he responded quietly. He listened to the silence, and then a sigh as the quiet "click" of the door finally confirmed she was not to be so easily deterred. He felt her presence as she stepped towards him, tensing when he felt the heat of her impending touch, and her almost palatable disappointment when he retreated, but she did not leave.

"Why do you do this, Remus? It doesn't have to be this way, and you know it."

Remus sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Yes I do, and you already know why, Tonks."

Nymphadora Tonks stared at the back of the man she loved, wishing he would just turn around and talk with her. She just couldn't understand Remus's avoidance of their relationship. She knew Remus loved her, as she loved him, he had told her so, followed by, "There's nothing I can, or will do, about it."

Tonks ran her hand through her mousy-brown hair. Normally, her hair colour changed frequently, one day jet-black, others bright blue; recently, however, she simply couldn't summon the desire to change it.

"No, Remus, I don't know," she said becoming exasperated. She continued, in order to clarify her response, when she heard Remus draw breath to contradict her, "You have said nothing that I can see as a "good" reason as to why our relationship could not continue!"

Remus turned sharply, facing Tonks, his eyes flashing in his disbelief. "Good reason? Tonks, what more reason do you need other than this?" He snatched the flask that he had been looking at, holding it up so she could see it. "I am bound by this! This is my life; it will always be my life. It will never change, Nymphadora, no matter how much you try and brush it aside!" His voice began to rise in his desperation. Why couldn't she understand? Why did she have to keep pushing? Didn't she see he had no choice and that he was doing the right thing?

Tonks's eyes burned defiantly into Remus's. "You're wrong, Remus. What's in that flask represents only a small facet of your life! You cling to it as if that is all you are! You're so much more than that, Remus, you are a man-"

Remus had to do something; he had to make her understand that a relationship between them would be folly. He slammed the flask back on the desk behind him, reached out, grabbing Tonks by the upper arms and roughly yanked her closer to him. His nostrils flared and his body shivered slightly with his warring desire to draw her closer. "You silly girl!" his harsh whisper filled the space between them, "You don't, can't, understand th-"

Tonks's eyes flashed dangerously. "I am not a child, Remus! I fully understand what I am asking!" Tonks gentled her voice before continuing. "Remus," she said, reaching out and touching his chest just above his heart. Feeling its rapid staccato, she began caressing him with the pad of her thumb, trying to calm him. She watched as his eyes closed and he lowered his head sighing. "You are a wonderfully kind, gentle, and loving man-" she started, but Remus interrupted her.