You, my Punishment (Islamic Story)

Chapter 34

                  

"DO SOMETHING"

"Don't know... don't know what to do"

"Just hug her, she is having a panic attack!"

That was when I felt arms around my waist. It was that safe feeling again. He was tightening his hold and told me to calm down the whole time. I tried to control my breathing like he told me and after a while, I felt numb. My breathing was normal- a little heavier and I stopped shaking. I had relaxed without realizing and I slowly opened my eyes. I looked around and saw Rabia and Leyla. Leyla looked so scared so I held my hand out for her, even thought I felt very weak. She took it with hesitation and I placed her on my lap. I placed my hands on her cheek.

"Its okay, no..nothing happened" my voice came out hoarse. It felt like I screamed so loud that I couldn't even talk anymore. She nodded and quickly got up. I looked at Rabia and she just shook her head and gave me a warm smile. The arms around me tightened and I felt myself lean more into him.

"Aneel" I whispered. He didn't move. He just hold me like that.  I tried to move his arms but Rabia stopped me.

"Don't. Let him hold you. He needs it. He was scared" she said and I nodded, understanding what she meant. She grabbed Leyla's hand and got out of the room. I let Aneel hug me like that for a little while before I turned around in his arms.

"Aneel, I'm okay" I said holding his face. He didn't open his eyes and I rolled mine.

"I'm here, nothing happened" I said and he opened his eyes. His eyes were full of hurt.

"I hurt you. I hurt you all the time and it's all my fault" he said with a stone voice. I couldn't fight him right now so I just placed my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around it.

"Nothing is your fault. If it was, I wouldn't be here" I said and he held me tighter. I didn't know what came over us but we sat like that for what felt like hours. Then I stood up and grabbed his hand to help him stand up. My legs felt still a bit shaky but I was able to handle it.

"I'm sorry, about earlier. Its your choice, life and body. I c-" he didn't even let me finish.

"Don't worry about it" and with that he let go of me.

"I really need fresh air. Be right back" he said and walked away. I sighed and let myself fall on the bed. 'Our Prophet said that it is forbidden to have a tattoo. It's unhealthy and you give your body pain what is haraam. You can't hurt the body and life Allah gave. Your body isn't yours, its Allah's. He created you and you have to listen to him. He doesn't set a rule without a reasonable meaning. Everything has a reason. You marrying with Aneel too' that voice said and I smiled a bit, relieved with the explanation. My dad and brother were covered in tattoos, even though no one really knew it.

"I brought you warm soup, it will do good" I heard a sweet voice. I turned to the door and saw Rabia  coming towards me with food. I tried to stand up but couldn't so I lied down and she sat down next to me. She helped me sit up a bit and fed me. Yes, literally. It was something even my mum had never done. It felt so good. I smiled to myself.

"You make him happy" she said after a while.

"What do you mean?" I replied, not understanding what she meant.

"He wasn't like this with Maryam. Sure he loved her, but didn't care this much. You had to see his face Sahra, he looked so bad when he saw you like that" she said and my heart smiled at her words.

"No, Rabia, he acted like that because once he told me that he was scared that the same what happened with Maryam would happen to me too" I said. I was right, right? He would never care more for me than he cared for Maryam, which I never thought he would.