Chapter 40

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We....made....it...to...SPIRITUAL #7!!!!!!!!!!! I was just jumping, I mean my aim was #20!! Thank you all!! ALHAMDULILLAHH

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He was on his knees while I was lying down on the bed. His hand was still on my cheek. His eyes were red, his face a bit pale. He stared into my eyes for a few minutes, not breaking the contact and nor did I.

"Aneel" I said softly. He didn't look away nor did he reply. I grabbed his hand from my cheek and he intwined our fingers. I forgot about everything that moment and just enjoyed it, knowing that it was going to end soon.

"Don't- Don't do it.. I'm sorry. I know I'm a mess, I'm the biggest mess alive. But please, don't do it" he said and I knew that he was talking about the divorce.

"Why?" I asked. He gave me all the reasons to go with the divorce yet he wanted me to stop it?

"I just.. I need you. You are the only one who didn't turn your back to me after all the things I did.. I don't know why, but I feel happy around you" he said. I didn't know what to say. He wasn't making sense, at all.

"Aneel, we only hurt each other. You can't forget Maryam so you have this anger, and that hurt us both. It hurts everyone around you" I said. We still held hands and still looked each other in the eye.

"Please, stay.." he said. It didn't make me change my decision. We've had enough. We both. Nothing was going to change.

"Just tell me, are you happy with me? Even a little bit?" he asked me. Why would he ask that? Why would he ask the same question I asked him, which I got a 'good' answer at.

"Sometimes, I was the happiest person.." I said, remembering of the times where even his presence did me good. Aneel had a weird expression, as if he was solving a puzzle.

"Please don't end it.. I need your support, now with all the shit I have to deal with.." he said, his eyes looking tired. I knew that. I knew that he had to deal with so much. I carressed his cheek and he leaned in.

"No.. I don't think it would work anymore. It never did.." I said and his face fell. He needed help, he really did. He deserved to live a peaceful life but that wasn't my job anymore. I couldn't change him.

"I know. I always pushed you away, because I knew you would be gone too one day. I am so scared to let people in. You know this. It hasn't been long since she left.. Why can't you understand that I'm trying? " he said quietly. I placed my forehead against his and he closed his eyes before opening them. He looked me deep in the eyes. I closed my eyes to hear that voice. Maybe it would come now. I tried to focus and smiled when I heard it. 'Everyone deserves chances. Allah didn't give you him without a reason. Try to find that reason. Its too soon, too soon to be separated from him. He will believe, help him. Ask Allah for guidance'.

"Just give me some time to think" I said and he sighed and nodded. I smiled at him and we both closed our eyes after that, having a long, deep sleep, which we both needed..

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Final Editing Done (27-10-2016)

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