Chapter 68

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He took a deep breath and grabbed my hands from his face. I thought that he was going to explode but he just intwined our fingers and looked forward.

"You already know I was involved with a gang. I wasn't a gang member but I just did little things for them. I had friends who did these kind of stuff so I just got involved with it. I was young and thought as if it was cool to act like them. That's where I met Yassir. We were actually friends back then. He wanted to give me a higher position in the gang but I.. I refused. I started changing, but I was even more spending time with Maryam. Maryam and I were together and I couldn't do that to her..." he said letting out a humourless laugh. I knew why he did it. He refused the gang position just for her. He really must love her much then.

"When I refused it, Yassir and I got in a fight. It was nothing big. I mean, we were.. we were friends for so long so we just worked it out... It was no big deal, until.." he stopped. I could see he was re-living everything that happened. I brought his hand to my lips and kissed it while looking at Aneel. He closed his eyes for a second but didn't say anything.

"Until I ruined everything. It was not my intention, I swear.. They got caught by the police because of me. I told someone about it, just because I trusted him, that there was a meeting of a few gangleaders, and he called the police. Yassir was in jail for a few months. The business, gang- everything was ruined. And that's where he wanted to take revenge. He wanted me to get back in the gang and start selling the drugs. I did, in the beginning when we were married but then backed out of it. That's why they were so mad and tried to hurt you" he said. My eyes widened. I knew Yassir was involved with gangs but.. jail?

"You know.. Maryam got abused, just like you.. No one knew about it, except for me. I wanted to take her away from them. I wanted to make my life good before taking her to live with me. I wanted to give her a happy life after all she went through.. I just.." He said whispering the last part. I touched his shoulder and he immediately turned around and wrapped his arms around my waist. I played with his soft hair, not knowing what to say.

"That night.. That night we.. I was going to take her to my parents' house.. But.. But Yassir came.. And he just.. She was laying there in my arms.. Blood.. Blood was everywhere.. The ambulance came.. Took her.. Without me.. I just.. She was dead, I was sure of it.." he said and I tightened my hold around his neck.

"Its okay.. Its going to be alright" I said to him. I don't know why, but it felt like that. I closed my eyes. 'Be there for him. Only you can make him believe again. Use that opportunity, and you will be happy.. Happy..' I heard the voice and smiled. Lately the voice was very rare with me, but when I needed it the most, it was there. It felt like I didn't need it always. Like I could handle myself. I released my hold to look him in the eyes.

"Look at me.." I said to him to force him to look at me. He looked and I smiled.

"We are in this together. You were there for me, I am here for you. Aneel, we went through a lot of things. And look now? We are still here, together. Maybe not on that kind of terms but we are still here. I am here, I will help you. And I will respect the decision you are going to make.." I whispered the last part. If he wanted to go, he could. I was not going to stop him. If leaving is going to make him happy, I will let him go..

"I already made my decision Sahra.. I am with you.. I just- I just need some time to think.. I mean, she just popped out of nowhere telling the opposite which I believed for two years. But don't worry, I won't leave you.." he said. My eyes widened and I looked at him to see if he was joking. I smiled and he smiled back.

"Why?" I asked him. I really wanted to know why he was not going to leave me when he found the love of his life. He looked at me with a confused look.

"I closed that page. I ended the book about Maryam. Maybe I still feel something towards her, but that doesn't overpower the things I feel for you" he said while smiling. I didn't realize what he said because I was too caught up in his smile.

"Don't smile in public" I said while giving his nose a little kiss. He raised an eyebrow.

"Why?" he said and I rolled my eyes.

"Because its freaking beautiful" I said. He smirked and I knew he was going to say something to tease me.

"Well, I will smile more in public then. Ya know, making girls crazy" he said and I slapped his arm.

"Violent much?" he said and I rolled my eyes again. That was something I did a lot around him lately.

"But really, Aneel, I don't want you to feel like you are forced to be with me. I would understand if you want to leave" I said softly, giving him another chance to back out. He looked at me in confusion before he grabbed my hand.

"When I saw her the first time after two years, I didn't touch her. A year before I would've put my arms around her already but when she walked closer, I couldn't do it. It was wrong- it felt like betrayal. I didn't want to betray you. Even though she came out of nowhere, you were on my mind the whole time when I was looking into her eyes" he said, making a single tear fall down my cheek. When I was about to reply, my phone went off.

"Salaam Yessin" I said smiling. I missed him.

"Salaam sis, I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to come over. Mum wants to see you. I can pick you up if you want" he said and I thought for a second. I ignored the tingles I felt when he said 'mum'.

"Ehm no, I mean, you don't have to pick me up. I am coming with Aneel" I said and avoided Aneel's gaze. We ended the phone and I looked at Aneel.

"Are you mad? If you don't want to go I can just tell him to pick me u-" Of course, Aneel just loves to interrupt.

"Come on, let's go" he said grabbing my hand. I was smiling the whole time when we were walking to the car.

~~~~~
Final Editing Done (04-11-2016)

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