Depression Poems

Telling My Mum I Cut.

Hey there mom I have something to say

I've tried and tried but haven't found a way

This might come as a surprise but don't be alarmed

Don't get mad, please don't yell, stay calm

I've been having some issues that really need you

This is hard for me to say, if only you knew

Here it comes, guess I'll say it now

Just please still love me, stay proud

I have a bit of a problem, I always feel sad

And or most of the time I'm always mad

I always feel so alone even being surrounded

I feel like I'm cornered, or even grounded

I feel like no one likes me or cares at all

Like being picked last for dodge ball

I don't feel pretty, or great, or nice

I feel like I've been made less sugar, than spice

I'm losing everyone , my family and friends

They just walk away leaving me in a bend

And yet no one cares until something happens

I want some real friends, just imagine

You might hear me say that I'm just tired

Every single day I feel like I've been fired

I have something else to say to you

Please stay calm, I'm not through

I'm an artist if you know what I mean

I paint so many pictures where you cant see

This canvas is not to be painted or drawn on

Remember that pink eye brow razor- the con

I paint deep, red lines that mark my skin

Pain tingles enough to make my head spin

I'd tell you it was the cat but I would be lying

I know you've never walked in on me crying

My sides are all cut up, my wrist as well

I just wish I wasn't so scared to tell

I hide this everyday, bracelets and a fake smile

I thought I'd feel better after a good while

I have wanted to die, wanted to end it all

Thought I need a Romeo so fair and tall

I'm not even that bad off to be true

I'm just being too whiny and rude

Some are worse off than me I know it

But I still feel hurt, like the dog bit

I just want to feel better, I want to be happy

I don't want to feel sad and act so snappy

I just want to feel pretty cause I haven't in so long

I've been trying to so long it's hard to stay strong

I just wanted you to know this sorry it's so late

I just didn't want you to be one to hate.

I know this may be shocking for you but it's all true. I have cut myself before ( not very bad ) on my left wrist and my hips , i do feel alone , I feel like no one cares about me , I sit alone at recess , nothing seems fun anymore , I have thought about how I would kill myself and how I would say goodbye , I don't feel pretty , Most times i cry myself to sleep , I always feel really insecure , I feel like i always have to fake a smile and tell everyone that I'm fine when really I want to cry . Natalie was the first person I ever told this to because she has depression and she's helped me a lot , I know Natalie seems like a horrible person and she really is sometimes but that is my best friend , she makes me so happy and she's helped me all along the way . I then told Olivia who told Denise and they both want nothing to do with me so... Then I told Lanie ; I refrained from telling Lanie because she is easily freaked out by these kinds of things and I didn't want to lose my best friend. Then Justin found out , when I told you that he called me 15 times , it's because he was worried about me . And now I'm telling you. I'm telling you this now because I was scared . I've dreaded this moment since September 30 when i first started to feel like this , when i scratched myself with bobby pins all along my wrists . I've been so afraid to tell you because i don't want to lose your trust in me and i don't want you to think that I'm I'm immature , that's why I've kept this to myself for so long . But now I'm telling you because I want help ,  I thought that maybe after a while I would be back to normal but actually i think it's gotten worse . Actually I know it's gotten worse . I'm scared that you'll send me to a mental hospital or insane asylum , but I will do whatever it takes to feel better... I want my life back , I want to feel okay for high school . I want to be comfortable in my own body and be able to make friends and have such anxiety about being social . I don't want Daddy to know , at all , he'll go and tell all of his friends and I really don't have the energy to deal with him . We'll that's about it , I'm sorry and none of this was ever your fault or because of you I promise . I love you so much<3