The Tutor

Chapter 36

His mind raced as he realised just how loud Jack and the boys were talking. He could still hear their voices even though he was well outside the locker room. Was she here the whole time? Did she hear everything?

The heartbroken look on Nora's face gave him the answer. He licked his lips. "Nora— hey. What are you—"

She looked dazed. "Is this what people have been saying about us? About...about me?"

"No. Cara, of course not." Rafe stepped towards her, but she flinched and moved away. She

flinched.

"This was just stupid locker room talk. Nora, you know Jack is a fucking moron. He always talks bullshit. No one listens to what he says. It's just stupid lad talk," he said, desperate, as silent tears escaped her eyes. He realised he sounded like a jackass, too. He should've told Jack to shut up. But he had been caught up in his own anger.

"Congratulations," she sneered. "While you won the game, I risked my neck going with William the headmaster's office where I could see the letters of offer. To think I stood here like a moron waiting to tell you first that you got into LBS..."

Rafe flinched at the harshness of her tone. He'd never seen her like this. Peeved, annoyed, frustrated? Yes. But this was white hot anger and hurt and bitterness. It was something Rafe never wanted to see, let alone be the cause of it.

The news of his acceptance loosened the tension in the back of his head. The heavy feeling of stone on his shoulders lifted, but it gave him no joy. He imagined this moment in lots of ways. How they'd celebrate, how they would go crazy, they'd laugh and drink.

He never imagined it the way it was now, with Nora's eyes wet with rage and tears. Suddenly university, his father and this school became insignificant compared to the hurt he'd caused Nora. "Nora, bella, I beg you, please don't cry," he took a hesitant step forward. They'd made her cry. He'd made her cry.

He tried to reach for her again.

"Don't touch me Rafe," she snapped, backing away. "You let them talk about me this way?" she asked, her voice breaking. He stood frozen in place. Guilt and embarrassment choked him. Why didn't he say something? Why did she have to be here out of all the places?

"I thought you were my friend. I thought you were the good guy, Rafe. You're actually pathetic," she said breathlessly. "You're no better than the rest of them."

She let out a small sob and pushed him away as he tried to come nearer. "Nora please— you're right I should've stood up for you I just—"

She shook her head, not wanting to hear his lame excuses.

He wished he could rewind time. Just change those last five minutes, desperately wishing she hadn't heard what just took place in the locker room.

"You were meant to be my friend. I thought you liked me."

"I do like you! By god, I think I love you," Rafe burst out.

But Nora continued as if she hadn't even heard him. "All this time, your friends have been...have been making fun of me? Insinuating that I'm a whore? Your paid whore?"

"No it's just boys—"

"Let me guess, boys being boys? Or just assholes being assholes?"

He was frozen on the spot. Everything he wanted to say would sound cliché.

She inhaled shakily. "Well, you got what you wanted. Don't come near me again," she spun away from him, her ponytail flicking like a whip.

He grabbed her. "Wait, Nora, please. I know you're angry as you should be—"

"Let go of me," she said through gritted teeth and yanked her arm back. He was in denial.

This was all his fault. He had fallen low - very low in her eyes. She came to this school to escape bullying, and now because of him, he'd put her on the map and made her an easy target. And he didn't even stand up for her.

He never hated himself more than he did now. There was a part of him that knew Luke was right, too. Rafe had worked his ass off all year. Let Jack talk all the shit he wants. He didn't want any trouble. He was so close to getting everything he set out to achieve. Had he known Nora would be out there listening, things would've ended differently.

Helplessly he watched her walk away, her hair whipping behind her. He swore and punched the door. 

Why did he have to ruin everything all the fucking time?