I glance at my phone ringing next to me.It's the fourth time Josh calls me since we kissed two weeks ago. I can't bring myself to answer him. I don't know what to say. It scares me to even think about it. I wish I could be angry at him for kissing me but I'm not. In fact, that kiss has been what I've thought about in the past two weeks. I don't know what it is about kissing Josh that makes it so unforgettable. I thought about the first time he kissed me for eight years and now I have this kiss-this forbidden kiss-to think about from now on. I'm trying my best to deny the fact that I liked his kiss more than I should.
I shouldn't like the way his lips felt against mine. Or the tingles his touch sent all over my body. I still feel the butterflies in my stomach whenever I relieve that kiss in my head. This one was different from the first one. I was surprised when he kissed me eight years ago. Somehow, I knew he was going to kiss me this second time. Or maybe I hoped. My subconscious hoped he would. I feel like shit thinking about this. It's not right. I don't need a genius to tell me that this is wrong. I know I shouldn't like kissing Josh. I shouldn't even be thinking about him. Brad and I are over but Josh is still Brad's brother. It's wrong. That's why I haven't been answering the phone. It's the right thing to do. It's the ethical thing to do. I'm not a teenager. I shouldn't be doing things I know are wrong.
The only problem is that my brain is not getting the memo. I can't stop thinking about him. It's like when I read a really good book-so good, I finish it on the same day-and I can't stop thinking about it for days after I'm finished with it. It's ridiculous, really. I mean it was just a kiss. I shouldn't even be kissing anyone right now. Not after my engagement ended. Not after an eight year relationship. And even if I were kissing someone, it most definitely should not be my ex's brother.
My phone stops ringing and I hate that I feel disappointment flow through me.
I glare at the TV in front of me as I try not to think about it. My roommate, Cassie, left about an hour ago. It's Friday and she always spends her weekends with her boyfriend so I know she won't be back until Sunday night. Sometimes I wonder why they don't just move in together. I haven't asked her because I don't want her to think I want her to move out. I don't. She moved in about five months ago when my last roommate moved back with her parents. Cassie and I are rarely ever home at the same time. I feel that we would become good friends if we actually spent time together. How ironic that now that I don't have a boyfriend, I realize that I don't have any friends.
I didn't really bother to keep any friends from high school or college. People are so fake now-a-days, you don't know who your real friends are. I never minded because I had Brad but now I find myself yearning to talk to someone. I've never missed Savannah more than I miss her right now. Mom had brought up the subject of me moving back to Newport again. Before Brad and I got engaged, she would bring it up a lot. I always told her my life was here because up to a month ago, my life really was here. Now...I'm actually thinking about moving back to Newport. I could live with Savannah. She owns a condo. My little sister has accomplished more than I have in that department.
The only thing that stops me from packing up my bags right now is my job. I like my job. It's stable and I get paid decently. I work for an insurance company. I basically sit in front of two computers and process applications all day. It was hard back when I was new but I've been doing this for three years now. I'm good at it and I like working on my own. I know it would be hard to find this stability anywhere else. It's the only string tying me to Portland right now but it's getting thinner by the day.
There's suddenly a soft knock on the door and my body immediately freezes. I wait in silence. My heart is beating hard against my chest at the possibility of Josh being behind that door. Who else could it be? I hope it's not Brad. He texted me the day after I left the ring with Josh but I didn't respond. There's another knock.
YOU ARE READING
SLOW BURN
Romance"I don't know why but every time I'm around you, all I want to do is grab you and kiss you." When Josh Andrews finds himself falling for his brother's girlfriend he puts time and distance in between to shut off whatever the hell he is feeling for he...