The Wakeful Wanderer's Guide to Disillusionment

Cold

Helen ate nothing the next morning because nothing had been offered. She got an early start from her little igloo, which was also no longer offered, and started the walk to Pi Central along the neatly cleared roads. Snow piled up on either side of the dark shiny pathways and it gave her the impression she was being corralled like a cow to the terminus of an abattoir. Still, she had access to maps and general queries but none of her previous friends were available to thext. She was abruptly alone, walking to another interrogation, her jacket barely keeping the cold at bay. If it hadn't been filled with more insulation the day before when she was working on snow removal, she would be in very dire circumstances indeed.

Helen couldn't bring herself to check her Merit, but she didn't need to. Her isolation told her all she needed to know. She must now be near the very bottom of the lower third. Tracey was not responding to her pings. Not even Gray showed up in her feed. She had looked him up after finishing her snack last night and saw that he slept in a communal barracks. Most likely, Helen wouldn't be offered even a bunk like his at this point.

Grasping her fall from grace, she began to perceive the Interconnected anew. Up to now, she had viewed them as an enlightened and compassionate society similar to Marto's narratives. Her current circumstances illuminated the dark truth of this awkward utopia. With a jolt, Helen realized she could die from exposure in plain sight and they would barely notice; filters and distractions obscuring her suffering from their senses. Helen was now part of the invisible un-Merited and the sentence for being so unpopular was either death or exile. She was alone in a cold wilderness of disinterest.

Perhaps it wasn't too late to go home. She hated it there, but at least she wouldn't starve or freeze so long as her mother could convince the family to take her back. How long would it take to walk there? Could she find a ride? She sent out a desperate message to Mem, hoping it would go through.

["I've been summoned by Pi Valley security for questioning. They think the worst of me. They think I was working with Beth... Nora. I'm cold and hungry and I need help. Can you help me, Mem?"]

It was a few minutes before she got a response. It felt like an hour.

["Sorry, Helen, I thought this was a copy-node or a data-clone. What happened to you? Thirty and I are in Barrington, checking out their coffee farm. It's not too far, but the snow and cold could slow us down. Where are you walking?"]

["Thank you, thank you, thank you for answering Mem! Oh, you won't believe what has been happening here. It was all so sudden and now I'm being called for questioning..."]

["Who called you in for questioning?"] Mem interrupted. ["You've already been cleared by Reyleena. That should be enough."]

["Some guy named Gordon « Lynda « Bonnie-Lynn « Mary-Isabel « Cordelia « etc, who is a public safety something? I have a map and a name. He sounded pretty official."]

["Let me check into it,"] Mem sent back. ["Pi Valley does things differently, but that doesn't quite scan. You should hang out somewhere while I confirm it."]

["Mem, I don't have anywhere to go right now except to the interrogation. I'm just hoping they have a warm room and some food and maybe a cup of tea waiting. People are looking right through me. It's really frightening. I feel like a ghost haunting the road. My situation isn't quite desperate yet but it's heading there fast."] Helen felt that her thexts were bordering on melodramatic. Winter was the worst time to find oneself suddenly Meritless. Death by exposure was a distinct probability.

["It won't be long,"] Mem thexted back. ["Thirty is in touch with a super-mod friend of his who is checking out the particulars of your Merit crash while I look into the security situation. I've seen this sort of thing happen to noobs before. It switches me right off. You still have a two-hour walk ahead of you. I'll have more particulars in advance of your arrival. Try not to panic, Helen. We got you."]