~Thursday~
Jimmy's POV
I had a late night.
I wrote for hours. Lily, her drawings she made me on the desk where I write, the fucking trailer...it was all inspiration.
I know if I had it my way I'd never have left Tessa's bed. I'd still be there now, finding new ways to make her moan. As I wrote, my mind would constantly go back to our time together. That image of her kneeling naked in bed is almost as ingrained in my mind as the one of her reaching her peak. Or the one of her smiling. She's so beautiful.
Somehow she's both a distraction and the one keeping me focused. Because every time I think of her- which was a lot- I get my ass back to work. If I want to be the man she deserves I need to make something out of myself and work on my music. Try and land this opportunity Wink was talking about. I actually feel a little confident about going down to JLB tonight.
I thought after last night, nothing could ruin the mood I was in.
But then I wake up to Greg- fuckin'- Buehl staring at me, and my day goes to shit.
He found about about the eviction. And like I predicted- he didn't take the news well. The second he laid hands on my mother though, that was it. I lost it on him, not even hearing my mom's protests and Lily's crying, only wanting to cause him pain. My mom literally has to rip me off of him to get me to stop. But at least he's gone.
I went out for a drive after- needing to get away. I ended up at Wink's where it only got worse. Future signed me up to battle after I told him not to. I told him not to push, I told him to leave it alone. Be he doesn't fuckin' listen. He think's I can take Papa Doc's title from him, when I can't even spit out a single word on stage. He always thinks he knows what's best for me, but he doesn't. And now he doesn't give a shit what I do.
When I eventually come back to the trailer, I found my mom on the front steps with a beer in her hand. From the state of her, I can tell it's not her first one. She falls to the floor when I carry her inside, right in front of Lily. I gotta pretend like everything is okay, and mom isn't drunk. But she knows.
I helped her to her bed, while she sobs about Greg leaving her. And then she's yelling at me. Telling me this is all my fault- that I fucked it up for her -selfishly asking me what is she gonna do over and over. Meanwhile Lily sits by herself while she's jobless and drunk, eviction hanging over their heads- 'what is she gonna do?' Fuck that. We screamed at each other and she kicked me out.
Fine, I'll go. But I'm not leaving Lily there. Not with her.
I really wish I didn't leave Tess's bed.
I know Mrs Helgeland is sick the moment she opens her door. Her nose and eyes are red, skin a bit pale. Before I can say anything, she starts talking, knowing exactly what I came here to ask.
"If you need me to, I can watch her," she coughs, "But I can't promise I won't make her sick too, so it's up to you."
That's a kind offer in her condition. Mrs Helgeland always does so much for us. We pay her, very little, but I know it's out of the goodness of her heart too. She loves kids. But I can't bother her, not while she's sick. Plus she's right, I don't want to expose Lily unnecessarily.
"Nah, that's okay. Thanks anyways. Do you need anything?" I offer. It's not like I'm gonna leave a sixty-whatever year old woman in this state without offering help before I go.
"No I'll be fine." she shakes her head, "My friend Tessa will be stopping by in the morning to check on me."
Tessa.
