in and out of love

eight

This is weird and sorry about this.

-

Three months have passed by swiftly. Louis left that house as soon as he could, packing his things and moving into Liam's took a lot of time than he thought. He asked Liam and Zayn a trillion times if it's really okay for them that he's staying at their flat, but Zayn almost punched him for asking too many times. After the couple questioned about Louis' appearance and his sudden moving in, he had no other choice than to explain about the entire situation earning a few threats, 'I'm gonna fucking kill him, that bastard.' and etcetera from Liam. Zayn literally had to beg his boyfriend for half hour to make him stop going out of the flat and beat the shit out of Harry.

Louis had a really difficult time the first one month, he missed Harry, he missed him so much it was quite unbearable at a point of time, he desperately wanted to go back to their- now Harry's house and turn things around, make them picture perfect again. But, he couldn't. Harry moved in with Cody. Until now, in the span of three months, Harry calls him to ask about Katherine but never about Louis. Not once.

Everything feels so out of place. Louis is gotten used to Harry around all the time and all of a sudden, he isn't beside anymore. He can't really digest the fact that Harry moved into Cody's, that Harry is in love with Cody.

As for Louis, his body is once again destroyed with cuts and burns and he's doing a bloody amazing thing in covering them up. Liam and Zayn, his friends since high school knew about his depression but when Harry came into Louis' life, they stopped questioning it.

"Louis!" Zayn shook Louis' shoulders to bring him back into the world.

He blinked a couple of times and squeaked out a "Yeah?".

"You were daydreaming, mate." Liam chuckled, muting the television. They were watching Iron Man. Might be for like the, nth time.

"Yeah, sorry about that." He muttered quietly, his gaze fixed on the television.

"Are you alright, Lou?" Zayn asked, putting a hand on his friend's trembling one's.

Louis choked out a sob and shook his head no. He covered his face with his hands, embarrassed. Everything hits him like a brick all of a sudden- the fact that he's no more with Harry, the fact that Katherine needs to grow up knowing she has only one father, the fact that he doesn't know if he's a burden to Liam and Zayn, and he wants his mother.

Zayn hugged Louis' shoulders, rubbing his back, "Let it all out, don't keep them in."

A few moments later, after his cries subsided into sniffles, Louis rubbed his eyes with the back of his sweater and pulled himself together. Liam and Zayn are following his actions, eyes filled with pity and sympathy.

"You people mean so much to me. So much, but I can't keep living here, I feel like I'm intruding-"

"Don't say that." the couple interjected.

"Let me finish, please." Louis looks at them.

They nod.

"I need to get my own job and a place. I've been living here for three months and I never paid the rent, I feel awful, you have no idea. And- And I want to ask you guys something really important."

They stared at him, urging him to continue.

"Are you guys into children?"

By this time Liam realised what Louis was asking, "Louis? What-"

"Are you guys into children or not?" He asks again.

"We are." Zayn says, scratching his neck wondering where the conversation is going.

"I- I need you to adopt Katherine. Just please, I love her with every thing I have but I can't take it anymore," He starts tearing up again. "I can't raise her on my own and I don't want her to raise her up telling her that she has only one dad. And I definitely don't want her to have any contact with Harry, he's going to take her away and then Cody is going to be there, oh my god, I rather want you two to parent her than Harry and Cody."

In all honesty, Louis wants to die. He wants to fucking die. 'Just one jump, I'll be happy, everyone will be happy.' He feels like a loser, like an ultimate loser.