The Interview

Back to Black

That day I went home, clearly not knowing what happened and why it did happen. I realized that I was just as confused as Roger was when I left him there in the bathroom. How was a boring interviewer that almost vomited on a hot rockstar like me going to sleep that night? As for Roger, well, at least he had a life to get back to. He wasn't the fool on tv. I could only imagine what the press was going to invent. I know I know, I said that I wasn't going to let him get what he wanted, but I didn't say never.

He slumped down on his comfy sofa and re counted the event for the millionth time that day.

-Girl

-super nervous

-almost puked her guts out on me

-refused my chance to ask her out

He told her this was not over, thankfully. It was an advantage to know certain people that could help him out with certain problems.

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That night however, was still as normal as every fucking night in the past two years. I've been lonely ever since I was 18 years old. My dad was abusive, I ran away. He clearly couldn't care less about me now that I was here. God sent me this job. I have one close friend, Jackie. She's studying psychology. I hate that because she can easily read every fucking emotion that I have, but its good in a way, I guess she can understand me. Obviously, that one close friend had an amazing opportunity to move and now I barely even see her.

It was another night that I cried myself to sleep. In my lonely and sad apartment. Why couldn't I be like my friend Jackie? She had a future, a proper education. My life as a child was good, until my mother died. I was only 17, I was studying law but everything changed in only 4 months. She got sick with a terminal disease. My dad only got worse and worse, he was nothing, a little piece of useless shit without my mum. He couldn't keep a house, a job and raise me.

Dave has been supporting me too, but I can't help feel uncomfortable around him. Its been a great struggle to trust people in the past years. And after this 'Roger' incident.... Oh don't even get me started. I wanted to act confident for once, don't know if I fooled anyone. I know I lost my chance with him, but he's well known for his playboy personality, and besides he has kids and a wife. I wasn't going to ruin my reputation, get into trouble and ruin his marriage even more than it was ruined. I wasn't going to do it for some quick, useless shag, that's for sure. Don't get me wrong, he's gorgeous, hot and ohh I can keep going on forever, but i've been played with more than once.

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I walked into my bathroom, removed my clothes and stepped into the shower. I felt the warm droplets trickle down my pale skin. I fell into the corner of my bath and hysterically started to weep my eyes out, my teeth shuddered and my hands held my head in complete depression. I badly wanted to love somebody and I badly needed someone to love me.