Secrets Are For Keeping

Chapter Seventeen

The next morning, I was woken up by the brightness of the room from the large windows. Morning light filtered in behind the large curtains and I covered my head with the sleeping bag, not wanting to get up and face the next day. I had gotten little sleep the night before, even after Kain had woken me up from my nightmare. Every time I'd fallen asleep images of Beckam would surface and wake me up before I could even understand the situation.

As I sat up in my bed, I forced myself to erase all thoughts of Beckam and the dreams from the night before. Thinking of it would only rip me apart.

The cafeteria wasn't too crowded when I walked in and it made sense since it was still only eight o' clock in the morning and I'd woken up pretty early in comparison to everyone else. Not even Pepper or Zander had woken up yet.

I got in line for food and ended up with a blueberry muffin and scrambled eggs. Since Pepper and Zander had yet to arrive, I felt awkward going over to sit at our usual table completely alone, although I suspected it wouldn't look too weird since everyone else in the cafeteria seemed to be doing exactly that.

But my attention was caught by Kain sitting alone at a table a couple rows down from where we usually sat. I walked over to his table, where he was completely alone.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" I asked, standing in front of him.

"No."

I sat down on the chair across from him and began tearing the paper wrapping from around the muffin. Instead of it coming cleanly off, the muffin paper ripped and patches of the paper became stuck to the muffin sides. I quickly tried peeling off the remaining patches, but couldn't get a grip on the paper without ripping it.

I hadn't even realized Kain had been watching me until he held out his hand, palm up, and said, "Give me your muffin."

I hesitated before giving in and handing it to him when he didn't pull away his outstretched hand.

He quickly began pulling off the excess patches of paper like an expert, carefully prodding at the correct spots and making sure he didn't leave any paper behind until he finished, and held a perfectly clean muffin in his hand. "Here." He offered the muffin to me.

"Thanks," I replied, grabbing the muffin and taking a cautious bite from it after quick inspection.

"No problem." He took a bite of his miniature stack of blueberry pancakes sitting on a plastic plate in front of him.

"So...," I muttered, wanting to bring up what happened last night, but not knowing how to do it. We hadn't said much after what had happened, and now I was curious about what he'd said about him and Beckam. "About last night..."

He stopped chewing his pancakes and looked up at me, forehead creasing as he kept his fork hovering in midair.

"What did you mean...by how you and him were...close...?" I asked, blatantly.

He silently placed his fork back on his napkin and took a small sip of his water, then stared at me.

"We were close...extremely close. Like brothers." I hadn't actually been expecting an answer and now that I'd heard it, I was wishing I never had.

"Oh," I whispered, and took another bite of my blueberry muffin. A vibrant blueberry taste filled my mouth as my teeth crushed down on a blueberry. I was shocked at how good the blueberry muffins actually were, since school food was mostly disgusting.

Kain had still not taken a bite after speaking. "Why were you saying his name?"

I took a larger bite of my blueberry muffin, staring down at my metal tray as I tried to delay my answer as long as possible. When I finally swallowed, I looked back up at him and met his icy eyes, that pierced into my skull. I couldn't tell him why, even if I really wanted to. I could never let him know.