Secrets Are For Keeping

Chapter Thirty

"Ah!" Zander dropped his coloring pen in shock at Pepper's sudden exclamation. "Cards? What are you...OH."

"YES!"

"Oh...I'm so going to lose...why did I do this to myself," Zander placed his half colored drawing on the ground carefully and then looked back towards Pepper. "Okay...okay...I need to prepare myself."

"Go ahead. Just remember you're going to lose."

"Funny. For a second there, I thought you actually believed you would be able to beat me." His fake cockiness returned at Pepper's remark.

"Oh, it wasn't just a second."

Zander began shoving different colored pens back in a plastic pack, then put both the picture and coloring utensils down on a sleeping bag behind him. Based on the collection of other mostly colored in drawings next to the sleeping bag, I could tell that it was Zander's.

Pepper pulled a pack of cards out of her back pocket and began passing them out into three separate piles. "AND, we are playing B.S. first since it's so much better."

"Fine. But that doesn't change the fact that I'll beat you."

"In your dreams, Ponyboy."

"Excuse me."

"Get it. Ponyboy? Like 'Stay gold, Ponyboy'? Your hair is pretty much gold?" Pepper looked extremely proud of herself for putting together the name and explanation.

"I guess??"

"Whatever, we're playing."

"Gosh guys, if you keep bickering you're going to make my win that much easier," I butted in. I picked my cards up from the tiled floor and began to sort them, putting my aces on the bottom and kings on top. Everything else I placed in order from least to greatest as Pepper put down the ace of spades.

"Ace," Pepper announced proudly, as she pulled her cards back to her chest, exaggeratedly looking at each of us suspiciously to make sure we weren't attempting to look at her cards.

"B.S.!" Zander shouted loud enough that a couple people trying to relax nearby turned around and stared at him weirdly. I stifled my laugh, trying not to smile at how odd Zander must've seemed, randomly screaming B.S. for no apparent reason.

"Why would I lie about the ACE OF SPADES?!" Pepper yelled back and picked up the card and actually threw it at Zander's face as she laughed.

This time I laughed with her as the card hit him directly in the cheek.

"I'VE BEEN STABBED."

"Sucks," Pepper replied happily.

"You know, last time I checked, B.S. was played by putting the cards on the ground," Kain interjected from where he sat a couple feet away. It took me a minute to notice the small, joking smile, and the playful look in his eyes.

Pepper's laugh quickly died out as she was suddenly staring at Kain which she hadn't done the entire time Kain had been sitting there. She watched his hand flow over the pad of paper, and then something in her seemed to change, because then her essence of joy was back. It was like she'd gone through a mental decision on Kain in the matter of seconds, and had come to the conclusion that maybe it wouldn't hurt to reply to him.

"Oh really, then why don't you come over here and show the rest of us?" she said, but unlike the way she'd joked around with Zander, her smile that went along with the question seemed to be filled with pain. It looked like one given by someone who'd just gotten beaten up, but was still attempting to look on the bright side. A timid smile, a pained one. And I knew that whatever had happened between Pepper and Kain had been intense and it was even more understandable how Pepper had been unable to respond.

"Okay." Kain dropped the pad of paper he'd been holding on the ground next to him and then stood up to walk the few feet that still existed between him and the rest of us.

He dropped to the ground right next to me, one leg tucked in as Pepper restarted the game and handed out the cards once again.

"I can't believe we only have two days left...," Zander commented as he began picking up his cards. I could tell that he was bothered by this statement, and I realized it must've been because of Kain and Pepper. I hadn't even really thought about it until Zander had said something. In two days, Kain and Pepper would have to go back to their own school. The inspection would be over, and they no longer would have a purpose in staying at our school.

And then it'd once again be just me and Zander against the world. They'd never return to our school, and we'd never see them again. It would be lonely at first, seeing my total count of three friends drop back to one, and knowing that two people out there who had known me would no longer see me. But then the feeling of loss would slowly fade and I would slowly forget these seven days. They'd fall into nonexistence as years passed and maybe then I'd even forget Pepper and Kain's names.

It was weird how fast life could change. How sharp turns could throw everything out of order in seconds, and have endless after effects that would only cause more damage.

Now that it really hit me that I'd never see Kain or Pepper again after the next two days, I looked at them in a new light. For once, I actually felt like I belonged somewhere, like I had somewhere to go, even though the friendship that had been formed with them was flimsy at most. But if it had time, it could grow and then maybe I would really know what belonging felt like.

"Yea," I whispered, not knowing how else to respond. It was better to just forget about it. To just live in the moment and be there for what I had now, rather than worrying about what I'd lose later. Because I did have it now. They were both there, sitting next to me, cards in hand as the game began.

Even if I did end up losing them. Even if I ended up losing everything I had, it didn't matter. Because I was happy. And really, at the end of the day, wasn't that what actually mattered?