The Marauders: Year Seven Part Two

Seagulls vs Marauders

The prank war started by the third years did not end with popcorn flooding their dormitory.

Rather, another strike by DWO had Sirus Black's boots making loud farting noises with every step he took - an idea that had been given to Wally by Peeves the Poltergeist, who followed after Sirius about the castle, doing the kazatsky in the air behind Sirius, with each preesyadkee being emphasized by the blowing of a loud raspberry. Students were pointing and laughing at this obnoxious little parade as they made their way all about the castle until Sirius finally told Peeves to bugger off and Peeves declared, "Nasty, nasty, Sneaky Snoopy Sirius... and I thought you lurrrrrrrved me! Peevesy's heart is broken, broken, broken you nasty boy!"

And so in response to the farting Doc Martens, Dexter's hair started changing colors - from red to green to yellow to blue to purple to orange to aquamarine to fuschia... and so forth. The DWO had a bloody time of trying to figure out exactly what it was that made his hair change because it seemed to be happening at random, not with any particular timing, yet still rather frequently. It was midday before Ollie pointed out that the hair color changed seemed to be triggered by Dexter saying the word "whoa" - which, with Dexter, was near to constant. "You look like a rainbow strobe light," said Wally as Dexter said whoa over and over and over, laughing, just to see how quickly he could make his hair change color.

That turned out to be the inspiration for the DWO's next prank on the Marauders, where they made it so any light that the boys turned on would flash on and off and on and off and on and off over and over and over again, driving all four of them absolutely mad - especially in their dormitory that night, when they couldn't get the bloody lamp to shut off. Sirius ended up sending a reducto at the thing, blowing it to smithereens and still, even shattered, the lamp's sad little remains managed to flicker from the carpet until Sirius finally opened up the window and dropped it out, yelling out, "LOOK OUT BELOW!" as the lamp fell meters and meters to the courtyard below, where it scared the dickens out of poor Mrs. Norris who had been busy trying to do her business in the shrubs.

This experience only increased Sirius's desire to outdo the little Seagulls, who were snickering at them from down the table when they saw how tired the Marauders were the day after the lamp incident occurred. "Yeah, laugh it up, you little fuckers," Sirius said, grumpy, pointing at them.

"Oh stop being mean to them," Lily said, as Dexter, Wally, and Ollie all giggled all the more. "They're just having fun."

"Little blighters kept me up all night," Sirius grumped.

James smirked down at his plate of bacon, "Yeah, but it was sort of worth it watching you toss that thing out the window..."

"Mrs. Norris never ran so fast in her bleedin' life," Sirius grinned.

"Well, maybe when Bilius set her tail on fire she might've," spoke up Peter.

"Still wish we'd seen that," Sirius muttered. "Hey maybe we ought to--"

"No," Lily said quickly, cutting Sirius off, "You leave that poor cat alone."

"Mangy thing is probably a billion years old, just like Filch himself is," Sirius muttered, "A little excitement in her life is just what she needs..."

Sirius didn't set Mrs. Norris on fire, of course (no fun in repeating somebody else's prank that's already been done, after all), but he did sort of wish that he'd done by the time he was finished with the week... As his next strike against the third years, Sirius set the anaticula on them so that all three of their wands were spurting ducks all day with every spell they cast, and soon the whole of Hogwarts was so overrun with water fowl that the Department for the Care of Magical Creatures had to be floo'd in to collect all of the ducks from the castle. Professor McGonagall, who had ducks in her office after taking the three third years in thinking they were making the ducks on purpose, gave Sirius a detention during which he was made to help Filch clean up all the feathers and duck droppings from all over the castle.