What Lasts in Us

CHAPTER FORTY SEVEN

Alone again. Of course I'm alone again. And it actually feels alright. Maybe it's because I have someone waiting for me – because I have someone to go back to. Isn't that what makes being alone bearable? Because it's temporary, not permanent.

Hopefully Nate has the sense not to follow me. Hopefully he realises what I'm doing, and isn't going to follow me and force me to go back. I hope he sticks to the plan and becomes the distraction. Because no way in hell was I ever going to let him step foot inside the settlement. This was my plan, and if anyone's going to die, it's going to be me. Emmi needs her father, not another dead family member.

The sun finally begins its descent, but it's still hours away before nightfall. I huddle inside the sleeping bag I've borrowed from Nate, knowing that he probably won't be getting any shut eye between now and when I'm meant to come back. Not that I'm exactly counting on that being his reaction, but I'm probably not that far off the mark.

Like a lot of people would be in this situation, I'm practically jumping out of my skin. I want to get the ball rolling. I want to get in there and rescue Emmi. I know it'd be pointless to try and rescue her at this time of day, considering I need the darkness to conceal me. What's the point of conducting a break and enter if everyone can see you?

It's not like I can just waltz in there, say hey, what's up, grab what I need then exit the way I came. Considering someone in the settlement wants me there, I don't think I'd be leaving anytime soon if they catch me.

So ... night time it is for my shenanigans. Which means I need to find something to do for the next several hours.

I'm still a few miles out from my destination, and decide that maybe instead of sitting around, twiddling my thumbs, I should maybe do something productive? I'm on the outskirts of a town for Christ's sake – I could at least go and explore an abandoned building and see if there's something useful inside.

For anyone wondering, the settlement actually took root inside half a town – yeah, not the whole thing, but half. From memory, the settlement started with maybe only a hundred or so people, and it took them only three weeks to erect the walls that surround it. Since then they've only had to extend one part, the wall that borders the other half of town. I can't say how many people live there now, but the settlement is definitely bigger than it had been when I'd left.

Even from my position, which is on my knees rolling up Nate's sleeping bag, I can see the wall from here. And it's gotten taller since last time. It breaks up the monotony of the town, weaving its way like a big, metal snake between the buildings. Maybe I could go inside the tallest building closest to the fence, get to a window that sits just above or parallel to the top, and jump over. Maybe that's the best way to get past the fence. And break my legs.

I set off, handgun in my waistband, pack over my shoulders. I'm still wearing one of Nate's shirts, as it provides better movement than if I was wearing one of my own; and speaking of, my back aches, and my injured shoulder throbs, a mild discomfort which I know will get worse if I'm not careful. I should probably only have my pack hanging off one shoulder, not the two.

Or maybe not at all, considering my back.

I left my baseball bat behind so I don't have that much to carry. Besides, I only brought along the handgun for EMERGENCIES ONLY. And it's not like I'm going to blow up the place. I'm sneaking in, grabbing what I need, then leaving.

Even though it's well past midday, it's still hot and humid. The crickets are a constant hum as they have been the past few weeks, their chorus louder than ever as I wade through waist-high grass. The outskirts of town rises up ahead like a mountain instead of a molehill, but I'll worry about that when I actually arrive.