For Those Who Don't Believe in Love Songs

Chapter 13 Pt 2 - Falling with Style

"Oh... my god," Martha said. James pushed open the door and they left the theater. "That was... That was..."

"Good?" James said as he took her hand. They began to walk to his car.

Martha laughed. "Better than good. Way better. I mean, the animation was amazing and the performances were great, but... Falling with style?" She shook her free hand in the air for dramatic emphasis. "Falling with style, James!"

He chuckled. "Explain."

"Well... like, the spaceman-"

"Buzz?"

"Right. Buzz. Buzz was delusional. He had deluded himself and had been deluded by his... packaging, I guess. I mean, 'To infinity and beyond?' That's like, perfect nonsense. And then the cowboy-"

"Woody?"

"Right. Woody. Woody had a firm grasp on reality and wanted to break Buzz's delusion. Not to be a jerk, he just values truth and Buzz was peddling an obvious falsehood. He wasn't the Buzz. He was a toy and one of thousands just like him and he sure as hell couldn't fly. And it didn't matter if the delusion made Buzz feel important or if it excited the other toys. Truth is truth. And then Buzz finally sees it and it's... devastating. Like... like a child learning about death or that they're not the center of the universe, that Earth isn't even the center of the universe. He's crushed by... by the reality of his insignificance."

They reached James' car and he opened Martha's door. She slipped in and waited desperately for him to circle around and do the same before she continued. "And the cowboy, uh... Woody? It wasn't his intention to crush Buzz's spirit. He doesn't want Buzz to give up. And he's able to pull him back by giving him real meaning – in this case, the child. And then there's the chase and the rocket and all is lost. They're screwed. They're gonna crash and Buzz can't fly. He knows it. He's accepted it. But what does he do?"

"He falls with style?" James said as he started the engine.

"He falls with friggin style! And it's magnificent! And heroic. And earned. Magic doesn't save them. Courage and aerodynamics do. And..." She stopped. James wore a giant smile. "I've told you all of this before."

He nodded. "Yes, but go on."

"Well, there's not much point."

"Sure there is. Besides, you're almost there."

Martha sighed. "Okay, um... I guess the point is that... it's not necessary."

"What's not necessary?"

"The lying. The lies we tell ourselves to make ourselves important or... or to give our lives meaning. Even if the lies feel good in the short term or if stripping them away is frightening, there is real meaning to be found. And finding it means... finding our best selves."

"There it is," James said. He took the sides of her head with his hands, leaned in, and kissed her forehead. "I just love that beautiful brain."

"Thanks?" The engine had run long enough for the fan to blow hot. The windows had fogged, cutting Martha and James off from the rest of the parking lot. "But... it's weird."

"That I've heard your brilliant deconstruction before?"

"Yeah. It happens other times too," Martha said. "It's like... I don't have anything to add or share with you."

"I don't see it that way."

"Okay, but it's not just that. I don't... Like, you know all my secrets. And I don't know yours. I mean, I know you can't help it. It's just... I don't know. It's weird."