The Aftermath

Personal Infrastructure

Devastated no more

Decimated no more

Neither shocked or dismayed

At the core

For I have become closed 

As a vault

And numb 

To this anymore

Or in anyway

Shape or form

So I am over it

And done

For it was painful and never fun

For too much of this 

Rocked me to the core

But no more

And angry with self

For allowing such self sabotage

And letting people

Get away with murder

But unable to truly blame

Anyone else

Too much emotion

But before not enough

Too much talking

But when I kept silent and uncaring

Unrelenting

Then told I was too quiet and felt rough

And altered myself to the point

That I ended up 

And wind up

Completely out of touch

And out of sorts

With myself

And what I always stood for

No matter what

Or who I was around

Flying high and never feeling down

Because I would move on

Like clockwork

Like it was nothing

And would operate at a level

At all times like a swiss watch

Logical and intelligent

Classy but also hardened

Focused on myself and functioning

At an optimal level

As opposed to talking about feelings

And wrapped up in emotions

With poisonous people

That tend to change with the seasons

And back and forth like the oceans

As I

Never swayed or strayed away

From this and more

Not one night or day

For I would never open the door

Or be someone's doormat ever

Lying on the floor

All done to help or aid

Someone else to feel better about